ye110wbeard's Land of Silly Un-Official Funny Fridays Site: HypaMan

The Adventures of HypaMan - Episode 3 - The Visitor

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 00:18:26 GMT

An unexpected visitor

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The sun was oozing over the tops of the building that morning. Paul winced as people stared at him. He could feel their eyes cutting through the back of his skull.

"Screw them" he thought. "YOU come out of what I just did looking like a pile of freaking daisies." He trudged along in silence. The smell of all that sugar baked onto him was sickening. The smell was intense. Strangely enough though, his body would not get sick.

He wanted it to. He wanted this to end.

He glanced up and saw a familiar sight. Home.

Well it was a cheap room in a rooming house. It was "home" by the definition. He could sleep there. The TV worked most of the time. Occasionally the water even ran, and sometimes it didn't smell.

The only thing he could look forward to was his computer in the corner. It was his pride and joy. Made of the latest and greatest. The most expensive cutting edge hardware crammed into it. Ram that was straight from the floors of the manufacturers. Oh it was sweet.

I mean if you live in a rooming house, you may as well splurge on SOMETHING.

Paul didn't have a car. Food was cheap since the price of "Skittles" dropped three months ago. And buy fixing the odd machine on the side it was enough to feed his habit.

He came up to the door of his house. Odd, it seemed a little "off".

Suddenly a shadow burst on the scene through his door.

"Damn crackheads!" Paul muttered. The bastard was trying to get away with his pride and joy. Boy that just pissed him off.

His arm instinctively flew out. He was ready for a fight. Never was he the most physically fit person. Normally lifting a box of Kleenex would give him a hangnail. He figured on just more than a few bruises. But today was not the day for anybody to set him down the wrong road. He just didn't care!

*BAM*

That was it. No fight. Nothing! Just a large unconscious idiot at his feet. Boy this guy really must have been out of it.

Then Paul looked. His pride and joy shattered. Shock and disappoint fell over his entire body.

"NO!!!!!!!!" He shrieked to everyone and nobody in particular. He has just slipped in the new Octagon Processor with MultiHyperGiga threading capabilites. The board had REAL platinum contacts with a fibre optic link to the drives!

He must have hit harder than he thought. He went to the corner and gathered the pieces of his shattered electronic baby. He gently laid it out on the bed.

This would involve a clear head before he freaked out. He went straight for the shower.

Next Episode: A revelation

The Adventures of HypaMan - Episode 2 - A new dawn

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 15:39:30 GMT

HypaMan Emerges

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The first he noticed was the smell. Acrid. Horrid. Intense to the nostrils. Like far too many old electric outlets shorted out at once.

Then his arms. They felt; Strange was not a word. Different was not even an accurate word. But they definitely felt. By some fluke he was alive. Hmm.

Maybe this was some strange definition of the word "alive" he had never encountered before. The sensation of his body was fizzling and tingling in a new way. He felt like he was having a major sugar buzz. No other way to describe it.

"Should I try to move" he thought to himself. Afterall if he was alive and not in pain that should be a reasonable option.

Lifting his arms to move, he found motion quite easy. This was strange considering the pile that just fell on him. There must have 200 pounds of old computer equipment laying about. Not to mention all that old moldy Captain Crunch. To think that stuff opened up!

Well yeah, the floor DEFINITELY was sticky. He could feel himself peeling from the floor. BLEACH. What a mess. Guess this would be a heckva mess to cleanup. Maybe he would quit tomorrow. Oh why wait for tomorrow. HE sure wasn't going to clean this mess!

In a fit of anger he decided to stand up. He'd had enough of being Electrocuted, covered in Sticky Jolt, Captain Crunch and old musty components. Let the pile fall! I've had it.

He stood up. Mountains of stuff fell to his side like small wisps of paper. PDP11 Cabinets were laying at the side like old Legos. Keyboards and radios were strewin about everywhere.

He was shocked. He STOOD. He shouldn't have been able to bend his knees under that pile much less get UP!

For the moment. This was enough. He was covered in bits and pieces of crap, sugar, crunch. He smelt like a burnt out Transformer.

"I'm going home!"

The Hell with the boss and his mess. He can fire me if he wants. I need to get cleaned.

Next Episode: A Visitor

The Adventures of HypaMan - Episode 1 - A strange beginning

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 02:30:24 GMT

The beginning of HypaMan

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It began as a simple enough day. Mild Mannered Paul (Actually Not quite mild, more shy but bad mannered sometimes) working in a small computer surplus shop.

The night was quiet. The shop was slow that day. It was time for cleanup. The "Boss" (Evil overlord more likely) wanted him to sort out the "old bits" room. Old bits. What it actually was was the biggest, nastiest pile of ancient surplus electronics equipment you ever saw.

Sideband CB's, Old Commodores and Radio Shacks. For some strange reason he even had a huge crate FILLED with 1970's vintage Captain Crunch! Six cases of Jolt Cola (You never know when you get thirsty)

"Might be worth something someday" He would always say. Sure after he shorted the check $3 or so every other week. Money I guess had to go into those high end investments.

So into cleaning I start. Start piling up another box of "Byte" magazines dumped over again. Whooops. Almost slipped. Another of those stupid broken "Rubik's cubes".

It started raining that night. The kind of rain that feels like "angels are bowling". Not quite a drizzle, but nothing to go out jogging in.

A bolt of lightening. Beeping all about the shop. "Damn" muttered Paul. Stupid Battery backups. 2 minute backup. Stupid old cheap bugger.

Another strike. Lights dimmed again.

"Crap"

Paul continued the sweeping. Suddenly a crack of lightening and thunder that made his spine simliar to a shovel hitting hard across the back. The lights blew! Not the ordinary kind of "blew". Think things popping and exploding.

A bad "Blew"

Couldn't see a darn thing in this room! Crap!

Paul tried feeling his way out. Another pile of old cubes and marbles obstructed his path. He began to stumble. Trying to grab a hold of something to steady his fall, only a huge pile of equipement; Stuff that predated Windows and sat untouched by no human in recent times.

Suddenly it began to topple.

Hundreds of monitors, PCs. Old radios! A large oversize Laserjet 1 came toppling down on the blessed collection of Jolt! Years of old moldly Captain Crunch poured into the pile.

Paul was trapped. Devices were embedded in him. He could feel life slipping away.... That's when the last bolt of lightening cut through the night and ignited the pile in a holy blue glow.

"-NOOOOOOO!-" Paul cried out. But he couldn't speak. Only his mind tried. The nightmare had begun. Technology had claimed Paul's life. His final thoughts were of how funny it would be to see the face of the Boss and his precious pile...

Blackness

Next Episode. Hypaman emerges.