This is a carry over from http://blogs.technet.com/adamca/ which started on yet ANOTHER site here on spaces.live.com at http://gunter8888.spaces.live.com/

1. Play Guitar Hero II against Bill Gates.  Winner Takes ALL.

2. Get into a high speed hot pursuit with a golf cart.

3. Speak Gerbil fluently.

4. Dance about the halls of Microsoft on 5 cases of Rock Star playing "Hyperactive" by Thomas Dolby.   After I get hired that is someday.

5.  Get into a "Geek Dance" contest with Steve Ballmer.  I like that guy... :)

6.  Stand on the antennae of the CN tower and do a Tarzan yell.

7.  Challenge a Real Texan to a Real Texan stake eating contest and win hands down.

8.  Juggle hand grenades successfully.

9.  Find pirate booty in me backyard.  AHAR!

10.  Build a fort from Commodore 64 keyboards.

11.  Contact alien life.   Ask them to take me to their leader.   Give it a "Raspberry" (phhttttt)

12.  Kick a Dalek's ass.

13.  Buy William Shatner a beer (or coffee, or whatever)

14.  Trap my cats in a large "Lego" Maze.

15.  Learn telepathy and telekenenis and be a real jerk with it...

16.  Burp the Star Spangled banner at the opening for a Yankees game.

17.  Whip open my car door and slam a passing cyclist.

18.  Mount a "HERF" on my front dashboard to take out cars that pass me aggressively on the road.

19.  "Think" my desk clean.

20.  Find all the toys I had as a kid at garage sales dirt cheap, turn about and sell them on eBay and make a fortune.

21.  Walk into a shop, by a big winning lottery ticket, do "The Happy Dance".

There are others but these are just from the top of my head... ;)

What can I say?  I am sick of my desk.  It is so cluttered it's not even funny.

How could I get this mess organized?  Oh I've looked at the solution on SO many angles it's not even something to share with people.

But I will.   Maybe somebody can help me clear it.

I went Staples and bought organizers, pencil holders, little shelving boxes.

I picked up a mini filing cabinet.

I got hooks to hang up my hats on.

I picked up a really nice looking wastebasket.

Ahhhhh.... so much better.

It is now two days later.

UGH!

The mini filing cabinet has now become a broken computer parts storage container and is now in danger itself of becoming a broken part.   

The wastebasket became a new basketball net and alternate storage for the filing papers (since the filing cabinet become unusually full for some reason)

The hooks broke when I tried to hang my laptop bag on it.   I can't understand why those racks can't carry 160 pounds of equipment.  Shoddy design!

The pencils and pens are all over the desk again becuase the cat decided it would be amusing to hop up and beat on my poor pencil box.

The organizers became useless since they couldn't contain the materials properly, so I went and bought something a little better to work with.  STORAGE BINS.   The blew up later that afternoon with the amount of "data".

The Shelving boxes weren't strong enough to hold the gerbil cages.  CRAP!

So what I've done to solve the problem is quite simple.   Should have thought of it from the beginning.

I bought a new desk !

It is gorgeous!  It is beautiful. 

It has multitiered shelving!   It has it's own closet!   There is a coffee / tea dispenser sitting perfectly within hands grip!  It is ergonomic!  

The beer / snack fridge is EXACTLY where it should be!   It has a blinking neon sign that says "GEEK" on it.

It is the PERFECT desk. Only for one thing.

I need another basement to set it up in because my wife won't let me use the bedroom.... :(

Ok we just had a "Rib Fest" nearby us.    And I got me to wondering, other than "chucking them in the trash" what could you do with "used ribs". 

You know, no "real meat" left of them but still got fat and bones.   And if you had a particularly "Good day" you might have a small pile.

Seems to me there has to be a better use than chucking them out.

Ahhh but there is!  You see those "nice" police dogs?   And Many OTHER dogs out there?   Strikes me most of them haven't eaten for the day.      Throw some at the dogs.  Should produce and interesting reaction.   Better yet,    Throw five or six in the center of a bunch of dogs.      I think THAT could be interesting.

Sharpen the ends, have a "mini Javelin toss". 

I think you could build a small fort too.   Although it MIGHT smell after a few days.

Play Jenga with them.   Just clean them up bit (or a lot)

May a very small garden picket fence.   Would be a bit gross wouldn't it?

Hold up a wobbly table.

Use it to cast Voodoo spells

Poke people in the back.

Itty bitty bitty swords for itty bitty bitty sword fights.

Very thick and yucky chopsticks

Drum sticks

Bring it back with your box of French Fries from the local Grease pit, try to get a free box of fries (or burger) "Look what I found in my FOOD!"

Laid down in a row, a Window security jam.  Albeit a not very good one.

Throw them at Seagulls and Pigeons.  They'll eat anything (or at least try!)

Cheap stakes for a tent

And of course the most fun is to wander by a junk yard LATE at night with a big bag just a DANGLING them outside the gate.   

No never mind, that is actually a really stupid idead.

But if anybody has more "interesting ideas" feel free to add them in.

Certified Guaranteed Methods of Cheesing People Off
or
How to get yourself Noticed in Public

Are you bored easily? Dying for attention? Sometimes irritating others can be amazingly fun and enjoyable.

But not just ANY body can set someone right over the edge.

That takes a special art.

Here's a few tips.

Start looking left and right over your shoulders, like you're being followed.

In a busy city sidewalk, plow into people to save the poor pigeons from being hit

Stand in the middle of a busy elevator and sing "The Barney Theme". With Feeling!

Pretend to be a mirror in front of a security guard. Mimic all of his/her moves.

Order something from Burger King in a truly pretentious manner. Ask for the hamburger to be laid out before you. Snap your fingers like in a fancy restaurant.

Walk into a fancy (VERY FANCY) restaurant with a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken and Two Four of Beer. Sit down and eat it. ANYWHERE.

In a crowded street with limited parking. Stand in a parking spot moving back and forth. Make "Car noises" like you're having a hard time parking. Refuse to move for other cars.

Every single cyclist you see, ask them how many Miles per Gallon that puppy gets.

Get an expensive toy cat from a store. Buy a leash and collar for it. Drag it along the sidewalk and curse at it for not moving. Threaten it. Do this in particularly affluent neighbourhoods.

Walk backwards down a very busy escalator.

Bend over, every three steps, to pick up pennies (even if they're not there) on a crowded mall.

Find a bunch of little kids. Teach them how to "pop" ketchup packets in a McDonalds.

Run full tilt in a movie theatre screaming "THEY'RE COMING! THEY'RE COMING TO GET US ALL!"

Organize high speed shopping cart races through busy intersections.

Make "cat noises" in the middle of a doctor's office.

Walk out of your dental appointment screaming in agony, even if you just paid the bill.

Pick a song like "Memories", "Honest" or "Feelings". Stand in the middle of a busy intersection. Sing it loud, proud and VERY off key!

Trip people randomly and yell at them to watch where they're going.

Dress us very fancy. Go to an expensive car dealership. Get the salesman's hopes up. Then as he is about to close the deal, spin about and cry "I wouldn't touch this garbage if my life depended on it! I'd rather by a Lada!"

Find the most and pricy department store in the whole area. Walk in their in a dirty T-shirt, old sneakers and smelly pants. Scoff at the lack of quality in the design of their most expensive merchandise.

Scuba dive in a public fountain.

Every time you look at someday, say "Beep"

Walk by street bums with pockets FULL of slugs. Make sure they "Jingle" a LOT!

Walk into a pet store. Find the cashier. Ask them what sauce goes best with budgie.

In a major grocery store, reorganize entire cereal sections. Sort them by the chemical elements they contain in the periodic table. Sample some while you're there.

Also while you're there, buy a grape. Just one single grape. Get disgusted when they won't bag it.

Test drive a large riding mower INSIDE the hardware store. See if you can get it to "lay rubber"

Photocopy $5 bills in Black and White. (lots of them). Throw them off the top of a large building. Watch the commotion.

Have a coffee. Get a BIG one. After every sip scream out "OWW!!! THAT BURNT MY LIP! AIGH!"

Run about in circles in the middle of nowhere yelling "I'm a Bee! I'm a Bee! I'm a Bee!"

Now we all know the obvious signs, you get out of bed on the wrong side, stub your toe, burn your tongue on the coffee.

That's just a regular "bad day".

But here are some sure fire indications that this is going to be a doozy!

The cat and the dog have organized a union.

The neighbours have a erected a burning effigy of you on the front lawn.

The car refuses to start but states in a very verbal manner.  In short, your onboard computer is now alive like "KITT" in Knight Rider.  More correctly like the evil "KARR" same series.

Tribbles actually arrive, and they bolt away off a cliff when they smell your breakfast.

EVERY cop pulls you over for a Random spot check. 

Street bums have formed a linked line of hands before your office door.

The office coffee tastes suspiciously like bad sewer water, and unfortunately you're right.

You smell something burning.  It's you.

Your cell phone and organizer both spontaneously combust.

Your computer sends out Five Hundred Fifty Five spam emails out to helpless parties who have formed a mob to stop you.

You get EVERY SINGLE RED LIGHT all the way down to work and there are accidents all the way in too.

The radio only tunes in one station, it's on AM Radio and it's about 240,000 miles away.  It's a Fourty Eight hour long discussion on the qualities of various toothpaste and dental floss.

The starter, alternator, three wheels and a new never before seen part fall off the car.  It will be in the worst part of town.  You will not have a cell phone.   There will be a very expensive piece of equipment in the car.

A huge rip will develop in the most embarassing part of your clothing.  It will be in a very important meeting.  Everybody will notice.

You will also pass gas while this happens at a very UNFUNNY point in the meeting.

You need to recover a server.   All the media is missing.   You have to take transit to the nearest location that has a backup copy.    You don't have enough money for transit.

The client with the server is a lawyer.   An angry lawyer.

When you get the money together for transit, the driver will drive off in the complete opposite direction.

When you get off to walk the final distance, up hill, it will begin to rain; heavily.

When you get the media, the backup copy was burnt too fast.  It will be difficult to read on the older Cdrom.

Microsoft has reposessed your copy of Windows.   Apple came buy and took you iPod.   The Linux guys just officially blacklisted your IP, name, address and COUNTRY from ever downloading ANY distribution of Linux.

An army of vicious squirrels has formed ranks in order to attack you when you get of out of the car.

The four horseman of the apocalypse are riding about your front door of the house when you arrive home.

If any of that has happened, sure fire sign that it is going to be (or has already been) a "Class A Primo" top of the line stellar BAD DAY.

But it can't get any worse, can it?  

Just smile and if you thought your day was bad.   Remember there are WORSE things out there.

Like you know, limburger cheese.