http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/07/MrBallmer_My_Personal_Serenade_to_Steve_Ballmer_of_Microsoft-128918.html

Original music "Mr. Crowley" by Ozzy Osborne (No relation to Ray Ozzie who's probably a pretty decent guy)
Rewritten lyrics by Sean Kearney the Friday Funny Guy

"Mr. Ballmer."

"Oh my God the Friday Funny Guy's out of his cage!"

"Why did we ever inspire him?"

"Run! He's applying to Redmond! He's applying to Redmond!"

Mr. Ballmer, please come hire me today
Oh Mr. Ballmer, I'm not here just to play
I'll work every day and each hour, and weekends too
To get myself up to your speed, that's what I am willing to do

Mr. Ballmer, I am crying to you
Oh Mr. Ballmer, I do know what to do
I'm poor and I'm broke but got talent, inspired to fly
Gimme a shot, bring me in now, Hire this poor Friday Funny Guy

"Hey Steve Ballmer, Look what do we got to do to stop this guy from singing, once and for all?"

"Apparently sir, all you have to do is hire him, just hire him."

Mr. Ballmer, oh I wrote you a song
Oh Mr. Ballmer, and it didn't take long
Microsoft brings the spark in my eyes, launches me into the night
Please meld my skills, bring me up now, Help me let my passion take into flight

Let me start anywhere,

I just need to work today

I just wanna work, wanna work for you.....

And your software makes me sing

and I wanna dance and shout

wanna dance and shout for you

Just hire him now!

He's tenacious!

He's willing to do anything!

Hire him and stop him from bugging the Canadians.

He's learned from his dumb mistakes in the past, take advantage of him.

FOCUS HIS PASSION.

If an individual, is insprired so simply by meeting people at Microsoft, is willing to sing off key and embarass himself, what happens when you hire him and focus that passion?

I leave it to you sir.

And if for any reason Steve Ballmer of Microsoft DOES hear this and would like to contact me and give that shot to me, I can be reached at funnyfridaysguy@landofsilly.com.

And I take that seriously.

http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/07/Microsoft_MVP_Theme_Song_UNOFFICIAL-128876.html

Let me be quite clear. Microsoft is in no way sanctioning, creating, backing or even listening to this (Well maybe listening, I hope at least)

This was done as a Funny Friday last summer. I really wanted to put it to music. I hope it does it justice. Karaoke version of "Secret Agent Man" from www.karaoke-version.com

This is NOT a poke at the MVP program. I admire on the highest level the stars within the program. Industry specialists.

Sung to "Secret Agent Man" Circa cool '60s spy show

When the servers crashin' in the night
Sparks are flyin' such an awful sight
Data can't be found and the problems all around
Who's the ones that bring you so much light

They're the MVPs, Microsoft MVPs
Why bother with the rest, they are the very best

Hackers tryin' to blow in through your door
Smoke is rollin' up below the floor
The day feels at and end, where's you only friend?
The experts blink and clear it all away

They're the MVPs, Microsoft MVPs
When you get that server crash, they solve it in flash

Bill Gates files are scrambled through and through
Steve Ballmer cries out "What can we all do?"
Paul Allen's had enough, even though they're very tough
Who will they call to knock it all away?

They're the MVPs, Microsoft MVPs
Nightmares run away, they're here to save the day...

http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/07/Acting_the_Final_Frontier_Micro_Trek-128443.html

Space the final frontier. These are the voyages of the United Starship Microprize.  It's forever mission, to explore strange new code. To seek out life in new compilations. To boldy code what nobody has coded before!

Gates Trek....

(picture cool theme music that nobody will get out of their head for billions of years!)

Captain's log. Stardate A100.2000.1223.BFED and a half.

We are looking at what appears to be a "DingDong" Apple Cruiser.

Klaxons sound. Lights flash. People run about with arms flailing. The occasional set piece falls on the ground.

"Keppin keppin."

"Try again in English Hotty"

"WHAT?!"

"Sorry, I was thinking about that 'alien' I enountered last night."

"Stop that! We all know you've copulated enough to populate the ENTIRE universe... and then some... STOP Bragging!"

"Sorry... hee hee.... Mr Blotto, what is the problem."

"Aside from the fact that I drank too much stuff that was 'Green', we're stuck in a time loop, I've Tribbles eating EVERYTHING in site, computers crashing, Dead aliens in the hallway... No no no... nothing REALLY to say now that you mention."

"Ok ... so all in all a 'normal' day?"

"Aye, well 'cept for the dilithium crystals."

"What is it with them this time. Worn out. They need regeneration? We have overused them. We need to make an Antimatter bomb? What?"

"Well... it's a wee problem."

"What Mr. Blotto?"

"Uhhh....welll.....you see.....They've been virtualized."

"Try again Mr. Blotto?"

"Virtualized.... You know, converted to computer virtual environment..."

"Yes yes yes...I know all about it.... Why I remember this female crewmember who was in a virtual suite with me..."

"KEPPIN!"

"...Oh sorry... So the Dilithium crystals have been virtualized."

"Yes"

"So 'un-virtualize' them. Seems pretty obvious to me. It's even written in the script."

"Well I would except that the 'De-virtual' program is still in Beta testing and we didn't pay the script writer.

So...we...er... don't actually have an answer written."

"WHAT!? You didn't pay the scriptwriter?!?! Are you mad?!"

"It wasn't me Keppin. It was Mr. Pock."

"Pock?"

"Yes sir!"

"Why didn't you pay the script writer?"

"Well it didn't seem 'logical'."

"Cut that out, that's a rip off from somebody else. That 'Nimoy' guy."

"Well no it isn't. I thought if we pay the scriptwriter, I can't afford to get my new Quadcore this month."

"...Ugh... illogical Mr Pock... illogical as always..."

"Thank you sir. May I leave and pursue silly endeavours?"

"Yes you may. Oh boy am I stressed."

"Bums here."

"... You know if one more crewmember appears with a name a little close to a certain Sci-fi series, we're going to get sued."

"Shut up. I'm a doctor not a lawyer."

"... and a really bad doctor at that. How did you get your medical license again?"

"Brain dumps. I studied brain dumps!"

"... As I figured. Ok people we have a problem here. The acting is bad, the punch lines are getting weak and the lack of creative names is getting to be a bit of an issue. Plus Paramount's Lawyers are on the line."

*** GASP ***

The entire crew suddenly realizes what they need is an unsolveable predicament. (Which they already should have considering the complete and lack of plot, cohesion, story line, script writer and apparently even a link to the beginning story part.... Didn't this start with the suggestion of a "funny computerish thing?)

*/*/*/ Overact modem on FULL \*\*\*

"What...we...need...here......is a problem." The captain stammers horribly as if unable to breath.

"Illogical Captain, we have a very BIG problem." Mr. Pock states.

"Dammit I'm a doctor not a script-writer!"

"....Aye... gimme some more green stuff.... " Slurs the chief engineer.

"Pock! What...if we were to....no....this is just impossible."

"Captain, the odds of impossibility are not there. However it could be highly improbable..."

"Yes....Pock...THAT'S IT! We need to do something...completely improbable. Something nobody has EVER thought of before..."

"No... you can't mean."

"Acting lessons. We need to take...ACTING LESSONS. And possibly hire a good script writer. This unpaid one just isn't working out."

"Captain?"

"Yes Mr. Pock?"

"Might I suggest we also send the chief engineer to 'AA'?"

"Logical as always Mr. Pock. Logical as always."

Well we're sitting down in front of our Server 2008 Core install.    If you're lazy like me, you just dropped in the media, let it run and install.  Now you want to play.

But wait, what name does the computer have?

"Oh easy!" You say to yourself. "I'll just pop into the "Properties" of the "System" and check the name from there.  

Oh right.  No GUI.

Panic sets in.     The boss is screaming.  "I need that new server online.  We need SRV2K8CORE online now. MOVE IT OR YOU'RE WORKING FOR the Burger King!"

Bosses say things like that.  It's called "Employee incentive."  Lawyers call it "Potential Cashflow."

But back to reality.  You need to name this thing something other than the random "WIN-2349FNS" that the media created for you.

So how to start?

Surprisingly it's very easy.  Another thing that, once done; you can throw into a script rather than remembering all that nonsense.  

I mean nobody actually memorizes these commands right?  That would be so... so ... NERDY!

So at your command prompt (Because that's all ya got in Core buddy!) type in

HOSTNAME

You'll get some answer like

"SERVER"

or

"WIN-2345918H1"

or

"JABBERWOCKY"

Whatever obscure or meaningful name it coughs up, that is the PRESENT name of your server.  Renaming is easy.  Just type in

/Alt/Sub Hyper -$%#@@ ^JOj8 !!! DIR -- #$%! INSERT ....

No I was pulling your chain, it's actually simpler and makes sense

You can use the NETDOM.EXE command.   This is your equivalent to the "Network Identifcation" tab from before in GUI land.

So at your command prompt key in

NETDOM RENAMECOMPUTER /?

For help in playing with this command.  You'll get the following screen.

NETDOM RENAMECOMPUTER machine /NewName:new-name
           [/UserD:user [/PasswordD:[password | *]]]
           [/UserO:user [/PasswordO:[password | *]]]
           [/Force]
           [/REBoot[:Time in seconds]]
           [/SecurePasswordPrompt]

NETDOM RENAMECOMPUTER renames a computer. If the computer is joined to a
domain, then the computer object in the domain is also renamed. Certain
services, such as the Certificate Authority, rely on a fixed machine name.
If any services of this type are running on the target computer, then a
computer name change would have an adverse impact. This command should not
be used to rename a domain controller.

machine is the name of the workstation or member server to be renamed

/NewName        Specifies the new name for the computer. Both the DNS host
                label and the NetBIOS name are changed to new-name. If
                new-name is longer than 15 characters, the NetBIOS name is
                derived from the first 15 characters

/UserD          User account used to make the connection with the domain.
                The domain can be specified as "/ud:domain\user". If domain is
                omitted, then the computer's domain is assumed.

/PasswordD      Password of the user account specified by /UserD. A * means
                to prompt for the password

/UserO          User account used to make the connection with the machine to
                be renamed. If omitted, then the currently logged on user's
                account is used. The user's domain can be specified as
                "/uo:domain\user". If domain is omitted, then a local computer
                account is assumed.

/PasswordO      Password of the user account specified by /UserO. A * means
                to prompt for the password

/Force          As noted above, this command can adversely affect some services
                running on the computer. The user will be prompted for
                confirmation unless the /FORCE switch is specified.

/REBoot         Specifies that the machine should be shutdown and automatically
                rebooted after the Rename has completed. The number of seconds
                before automatic shutdown can also be provided. Default is
                30 seconds

/SecurePasswordPrompt
                Use secure credentials popup to specify credentials. This
                option should be used when smartcard credentials need to be
                specified. This option is only in effect when the password
                value is supplied as *

NETDOM HELP command | MORE displays Help one screen at a time.

As you can see, a pile of information is presented.  But I can see from the top line, the one I want is really obvious.

NETDOM RENAMECOMPUTER machine /NewName:new-name

There are additional parameters I can add, like my credentials in order to be allowed to rename it, force a reboot etc.  But all I want is to name this silly machine to something normal before my boss gets ideas about transferring me to the sanitation division.

So in my case my computer was called

"WIN-2345918H1"

Because as I said before, I was lazy, shoveled in the media and just went with it.

So quickly typing

NETDOM RENAMECOMPUTER WIN-2345918H1 /NewName:SRV2K8CORE

Now PRESUMING you had the credentials to do that and you didn't break any other rules (like I don't know, renaming a Domain Controller in the process.  Nobody would do that right?) you now have a Windows 2000 Core box called "SRV2K8CORE"

We've got to reboot our little friend to make it live as the new name.  We could just cheat, do a CTRL-ALT-DELETE and click the red button to restart the machine.  But what fun would that be?

Please allow me to introduce one more command.  SHUTDOWN.

Embrace the shutdown command.   It is your friend.  Use it more often than the GUI version.  It's easy to remember and powerful and ALWAYS REBOOTS (Well except for the power outage, couldn't get it to work then for some reason.)

We'll go into further details on this command later but in a nutshell type in

SHUTDOWN -F -R -T 0

This will FORCE an immediate REBOOT in 0 TIME (Pick up the hint what it means?)

In a short reboot time you will have a core server online with a real name.

Next time, we'll look into making it as a Domain Controller.

Sean
The EnergizedTech -
Dedication and Inspiration creating the new Generation

Had some time to myself this weekend, a little time to stretch creatively and play. 

So I finally sat down and blanked off my Dual Core box.    Finally Sat down and put in Server 2008 Core.

The operation isn't difficult.  I just had the usual pile of rubbish I didn't know where to put it. 

So I picked a good spot.   The Recycle Bin.  Nothing ever gets lots in the Recycle Bin right?  Best place for archiving data.

No?

Oh well then.  I guess live and learn

So I downloaded a fresh copy of the media from Technet.  One of the nicest things you can get your hands on is Technet Direct.   For about $300 per year, you get access to almost every key application from Microsoft. 

No 120 day timeouts.  No Catch 22.  Pretty sweet.  Plus two technical support incidents from Microsoft.  Very impressive.

So installing Core.   Just popped in the media, Installed the O/S.  Chose a "Core Server 2008 Enterprise" install.   Let that puppy run through.  I think in barely half an hour I had Core installed and running.

So what to do now?  You've got a server with no GUI and minimal apps.   But the wonderful thing is you haven't lost any power.   In fact you've gained.   So much resources available at your finger tips.

What can core be?

How about.

Hyper-V Virtual environment

File and printer Server

Web server

Domain Controller

and so much more.   

What is impressive is would think that with no MMC to run and manage directly, you'd be dead in the water.  But no.  No.

Not at all.  Not one tiny bit.

Everything you need to do in core (well say about 90%) can be done at the command Prompt.   The Oh so Mighty command prompt.  Including managing that wonderful built in Firewall.  OH yeah!

Next time I'll try and touch on some of the built in shell commands.  Maybe show the rest of us who didn't realize the power Microsoft has sitting on a command prompt.

And so far this is before getting into Powershell.   

Until next time folks

Sean
The EnergizedTech -
Dedication and Inspiration creating the new Generation

Well folks we're all sitting here at this pretty core screen on Server 2008.  The cursor is just a blinking away on "C:\Users\Administrator".  Just teasing you and poking fun at you.

"No GUI! Come on! Gimme your worst!"

You feel so helpless. 

But you aren't.

Helpless would be un-armed.  No way to work.  System useless.

Today we're going to play a little bit with NETSH.EXE

"And just what is THAT?!" they're all screaming at the back.

Potatoes fly down.  "I thought you were going to tell us something useful!  We just use that sometimes after spyware!"

Well in truth you do.  NETSH INTERFACE IPV4 RESET is a nice simple way to reset the Winsock in your system.  But that's not ALL it does.  Do you think Microsoft put it there BECAUSE of Malware?

Nope.

NETSH.EXE is your command line version of "Network Connections" or "Network Sharing Center".   This is your magic box to get into network card settings.

Now NETSH.EXE like a LOT of the command based utilities is incredibly powerful.  I particularly like it since it has both a regular "Shell" to dip into which actually has a simple and useful help system.

It can also be pre written up as a batch file or scriptable command line.

If you just typed in your old familiar NETSH INTERFACE IPV4 RESET you would have just seen it say "Yeah ok, whatever." and finished it's job.

If however you typed in NETSH.EXE by itself you'd get

netsh>

Seems to be prompting you for something doesn't it?

Key in either "help" or "?" and hitting enter will open up this little world.

The following commands are available:

Commands in this context:
..             - Goes up one context level.
?              - Displays a list of commands.
abort          - Discards changes made while in offline mode.
add            - Adds a configuration entry to a list of entries.
advfirewall    - Changes to the `netsh advfirewall' context.
alias          - Adds an alias.
bridge         - Changes to the `netsh bridge' context.
bye            - Exits the program.
commit         - Commits changes made while in offline mode.
delete         - Deletes a configuration entry from a list of entries.
dhcp           - Changes to the `netsh dhcp' context.
dhcpclient     - Changes to the `netsh dhcpclient' context.
dump           - Displays a configuration script.
exec           - Runs a script file.
exit           - Exits the program.
firewall       - Changes to the `netsh firewall' context.
help           - Displays a list of commands.
http           - Changes to the `netsh http' context.
interface      - Changes to the `netsh interface' context.
ipsec          - Changes to the `netsh ipsec' context.
lan            - Changes to the `netsh lan' context.
nap            - Changes to the `netsh nap' context.
netio          - Changes to the `netsh netio' context.
offline        - Sets the current mode to offline.
online         - Sets the current mode to online.
p2p            - Changes to the `netsh p2p' context.
popd           - Pops a context from the stack.
pushd          - Pushes current context on stack.
quit           - Exits the program.
ras            - Changes to the `netsh ras' context.
rpc            - Changes to the `netsh rpc' context.
set            - Updates configuration settings.
show           - Displays information.
unalias        - Deletes an alias.
winhttp        - Changes to the `netsh winhttp' context.
winsock        - Changes to the `netsh winsock' context.
wlan           - Changes to the `netsh wlan' context.

The following sub-contexts are available:
advfirewall bridge dhcp dhcpclient firewall http interface ipsec lan nap netio
p2p ras rpc winhttp winsock wlan

To view help for a command, type the command, followed by a space, and then
type ?.

"WHOA!" I can hear you say.  "THAT'S inside NETSH.EXE?"

That's right.  Now the fun part is playing with it.   Let's try something simple.  I'll go in step by step.  Mostly because I personally can't remember all the command structure.    Setting an IP address.  This is of course PRESUMING you have a network card installed.   Of some type.

Now I can do the showoff version which says "JUST TYPE THIS IN, IN ONE SHOT.  NOW GO AWAY AND STOP BOTHERING ME FOR ANSWERS."

I COULD do that, but that would be rude and not very interesting.

So enter the "Net Shell"

NETSH (Of course hit Enter, really, you DO have to.... Hey who threw that?)

netsh>

Now at this prompt type "interface" to choose the particular interface you're going to work with

netsh>interface <ENTER> (Don't type <ENTER> or this won't work.... Hey you at the back, I know where you live)

netsh interface>

Is your new prompt.  You see as you go in it will remind you what you're doing.  This will also be part of the context if you ever wanted to write this as a batch file and drop it onto another system.

now choose tcp since we're going to work with TCP/IP.  By the way, I'm not picking "random words".  If you're curious where they're coming from, any time, key in "?" or "HELP" to get a gander what you can do at each level of the tree.

netsh inteface>tcp (We'll skip all the Enter jokes from here on in, that joker at the back is really pelting me)

Today we're going to work with IPV4.  What you didn't read? There's more than one version of TCP/IP.  We want to work with THAT version.   I'm certain we're all running a TCP/IP V6 class network in our house.

netsh interface tcp>ipv4

Now at all these points there's a pile of commands you can mess with.  Some dangerous and some simple.  I like the simple ones.  They keep me out of trouble.  "show" is one of them.  Pretty obvious what it wants.  At the prompt key in "show" after you see

netsh interface tcp ipv4> (You remembered to Enter before, ri....*OUCH* stop that!)

netsh interface tpc ipv4>show

The following commands are available:

Commands inherited from the netsh context:
show alias     - Lists all defined aliases.
show helper    - Lists all the top-level helpers.
show mode      - Shows the current mode.

Commands in this context:
show addresses - Shows IP address configurations.
show compartments - Shows compartment parameters.
show config    - Displays IP address and additional info
show destinationcache - Shows destination cache entries.
show dnsservers - Displays the DNS server addresses.
show dynamicportrange - Shows dynamic port range configu
show global    - Shows global configuration parameters.
show icmpstats - Displays ICMP statistics.
show interfaces - Shows interface parameters.
show ipaddresses - Shows current IP addresses.
show ipnettomedia - Displays IP net-to-media mappings.
show ipstats   - Displays IP statistics.
show joins     - Displays multicast groups joined.
show neighbors - Shows neighbor cache entries.
show offload   - Displays the offload information.
show route     - Shows route table entries.
show subinterfaces - Shows subinterface parameters.
show tcpconnections - Displays TCP connections.
show tcpstats  - Displays TCP statistics.
show udpconnections - Displays UDP connections.
show udpstats  - Displays UDP statistics.
show winsservers - Displays the WINS server addresses.

My goodness this is pile more.   Well in this case I'm interesting in viewing my current IP address and how it's been setup.   And believe it or not, it's obvious!

netsh interface tcp ipv4>show addresses

In my case I get these off my test machine.

Configuration for interface "Local Area Connection"
    DHCP enabled:                         No
    IP Address:                           10.0.0.49
    Subnet Prefix:                        10.0.0.0/24 (mask 255.255.255.0)
    Default Gateway:                      10.0.0.1
    Gateway Metric:                       256
    InterfaceMetric:                      20

Configuration for interface "Loopback Pseudo-Interface 1"
    DHCP enabled:                         No
    IP Address:                           127.0.0.1
    Subnet Prefix:                        127.0.0.0/8 (mask 255.0.0.0)
    InterfaceMetric:                      50

So here's where you get useful information about the IP address and gateway typing "show dnsservers" in this context gets you a list of DNS Servers in use, "show interfaces" will show you the descriptive name of all your network cards.  This comes in handy with the next step.  SETTING your IP address. 

netsh interface tcp ipv4>set address

If you just typed "set" by itself it would show you all the things you can "set".  Right now I just want to "SET" my ip address so I can do something with this.   Keying "set address" by itself will give me more instructions.  But I want to "SET" my IP address before my coffee gets cold.

netsh interface tcp ipv4>set address name="Local Area Connection" source=static 192.168.1.20 255.255.255.0 192.168.1.1

Ding.  Now I have the IP address changed to 192.168.1.20

Now if you want to forget how to do all this in the future, because you're lazy; like me.   Get out your copy command and paste that whole line into notepad and save it as a BAT or CMD file.  Then just edit the IP address later for the next machine.  Take out the ">" from the line of course so it reads.

netsh interface tcp ipv4 set address name="Local Area Connection" source=static 192.168.1.20 255.255.255.0 192.168.1.1

But what if the name of the Lan Connection was "Server Connection" or more importantly what if I have SEVERAL network cards?   the "show interfaces" lists them all by name.  You can modify the section that says "Local Area Connection" with whatever names are assigned to your card.

There's a lot more power to the command line than just setting an IP address, like allowing firewall exclusions for example.  The great part is.  It's not bandwidth intensive.   Copy, paste, run.  

Next time we'll touch on other commands like how to rename your computer or maybe join it to a domain.

Until next time

Sean
The EnergizedTech -
Dedication and Inspiration creating the new Generation

http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/07/Phone_Hell-128317.html

Parody of Hell's Bells. Original Song by AC/DC.

Karaoke version from Track 16 AC/DC Volume 205 "Legends Series"

Phone Hell

I'm dialin' up and I hear the tone
Operator answers, leaves me on the phone
I sit in the queue for an hour or so
Transferred to Brazil and around I go
I won't get an answer, they'll transfer me
I'm tied inside til eternity
Alexander Graham Bell I'm blamin' you
I'm trapped inside, right down inside

Phone Hell
Phone Hell, I'm stuck in the queue
Phone Hell, Can't find what to do
Phone Hell

I'm callin' up, cuz I've gone insane
Need tech support, I can't bear the pain
No matter what I do, I get put on hold
Start yellin' out for help, the line is gettin' cold.
No one can answer me, No one's online
They're just wastin' my precious time.
Alexander Graham Bell I'm blamin' you
I'm trapped inside, right down inside

Phone Hell
Phone Hell, I'm stuck on the phone
Phone Hell, I feel so alone
Phone Hell

Phone Hell, Ma Bells torturin' you
Phone Hell, Dial tones buzzin now
That Phone Hell, those long distance calls
Phone Hell, blame it all on me
Phone Hell, transferred around the world
Phone Hell, I scream and I moan
Phone Hell, Useless as tits on a Bull
Phone Hell, I blew up my phone

"Waaaaaaahhhhhh...."

Phone Hell

http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/07/Bought_and_Xbox360-126579.html

Sing along folks.  It's the best way to drown out my voice!

Xbox360

Sung to "Flavour of the Week - American Hifi" - cheap at the local online music store "eh?"

My gamebox broke, I'm so damn bored, I'm countin spots upon the wall.
I played it long, for 12 months straight, Can't wait to play again.
I've been at ebGames all day long, up and down that wall so tall, I've that VISA card out now

Atari, Nintendo, Sega and Playstation 2.
I've owned them and used them, I'm runnin' out the door to get
an XBOX 360 right now.

I've set it up, the cables linked.   I've got wifi through the room.
The games they rock, I'm buyin' stock, cuz I can't stop the sonic boom.
The sound it shakes apart the floor, and all my friends they want to play, they're lined up right

outside my door.

Vic-20 and Tandy.  Apple and Coleco too.
I've had them and used them I played them until they blew apart
I bought an Xbox 360.

--- cool scary solo time ---

My XBOX 360, it smokes the house away

It's so cool

I just drool

I can't fool

I missed school

My XBOX 360, theres goes the power bill

No lights on

No power

But at least I can proudly say.

I own an XBOX360.

Yeah an XBOX360

There go the lights....

http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/07/I_am_Caffeinated-126508.html

With HUGE apologies to the Ramones and "I Wanna Be Sedated"

"I'm gonna be Caffeinated"

Twenty-twenty-twenty more coffees to go,  I am caffeinated
The server has crashed, I need to stay up, I am caffeinated
Just drop me on the rack, with Timmies from a friend
Pour about a gallon, drive me round the bend
My body is a shaking, this might just be the end
Oh Whoa Oh Whoa Oh Whoa!

Twenty-twenty-twenty more coffees to go,  I am caffeinated
The network is down, No sleep for me now, I am caffeinated
The client is a screaming, he's a bloody pain
Get him outta here before I go insane
My fingers are a shaking, so's my freaking brain
Oh Whoa Oh Whoa Oh Whoa!

Twenty-twenty-twenty more coffees to go,  I am caffeinated
They want their mail now, I'm not allowed home, I am caffeinated
Just roll me a in a wheelchair, I can't stand on my feet
I'll take a double double, my body is so beat
My fingers fell right off, my mouth takes just like peat
Oh Whoa Oh Whoa Oh Whoa!

Twenty-twenty-twenty more coffees to go,  I am caffeinated
My eyes are bloodshot and can't walk at all, I am caffeinated
I'll take it in a cup, I'll take in a glass
Pour it in me now, I'm laying on my ass
Sorry for the lyrics, the words were rather crass
Oh Whoa Oh Whoa Oh Whoa!

Type-type-typea Type-type-typea, I am caffeinated
Type-type-typea Type-type-typea, I am caffeinated
Type-type-typea Type-type-typea, I am caffeinated
Type-type-typea Type-type-typea, I am caffeinated

SBS NOW - Based upon "Shot in the Dark - Ozzy Osborne"

Ozzy Can sing.  I cannot

http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/07/SBS_Now_Microsoft_SBS_EBS_theme_Song_UNOFFICIAL-126319.html

SBS NOW

Open the door, start up the day
Blinkin' lights look up and greet me
Files are there, Calendars share
Central faxes are there so sweetly

Profits' are swellin', nobody's yellin'
We're a growin' things are flowin'
Don't have to drive all the way from my house
There's remote access there for me

Cuz I've got SBS NOOOOOW! Feel my business comin' through
and I've got SBS NOWWWWW! Cost effective just for you!

We're no longer a Small Business now,
We're expanding and we're growin'
We need more than one, to split up the fun
Cuz The profits are a showin'

I tell you my friend, we'll beef up the back end
Something stronger, last you longer
To grow and expand, needs essentials you see
to get the next level and how

It's time for EBS NOW! Sales are flowin' out and true
It's time for EBS NOW! Cost effective easy too
Yeah it's time for EBS NOW! Enterprise is callin' you

I'm doin' so well now, Times they are good
I'll remember, yeah remember
What started it all, and got me online
Brought relief when I needed now

It started with SBS NOOOWW! Friendly software helpin' you
Up to EBS NOOOOWWWWWWW! Power smooth and steady true
You're in the Enterprise now! Glad that we could help out you!

I keep telling these people at Microsoft they need theme music for their stuff.   Someday they'll listen... SOMEDAY!

Sung to Hyperactive by Thomas Dolby - Buy the MP3 today or better yet his amazing library!

Hyper-V - Theme Song

Tell me about your system

I was trapped and stuck inside,
a datacentre deep and wide
Trying to hold back from the noise and heat
A symphony of wind and sun,
God forbid it was no fun
wondering what I could do to get it beat
Then I quickly glanced online,
for all I had to me was time
and a light it came upon my screen
With a server on the rack,
I began my deep attack
and i virtualized it all as one!

And nobody saw them go....
And nobody saw them go.....
And nobody saw them go.....

and now they're Virtualized away!

Hyper-v they're hid away
Hyper-v my drive Array
Hyper-v it came and saved the day

and nobody saw them go.....

"So what is your power bill this month?"

And nobody saw them go.....

"What was our hardware budget last year?"

Virtual, Virtual, virtual, virtual, virtualize me now

Powercords, thrown away
Cooler now, so I can play
Space time get more done
Chillin' now and havin' fun
in Server 2008
Just a built in role for you
Just a built in role for you
Built in built in built for you now

System Centre VMM
Virtualize right to the end
and it Saved me time
No heat problems to be found,
and the room is lacking sound
cuz it's virtualized
Costs of Hardware Power, Heat
You'll see them all so clearly beat
and you're laughing to the bank
When you get out Hyper-V

Hyper-V: to integrate
Hyper-V: i just can't wait
Hyper-V: it's part of 2k8
Hyper-v: they're hid away
Hyper-v: my drive Array
Hyper-v: it came and saved the day
Hyper-V: and I'm online
Hyper-V: and In no time
Hyper-v: Come get and use it now!

Hyper-v: Server 2008!
Hyper-V: Server 2008!
Hyper-V: Server 2008!
Hyper-V: Server 2008!

Hyper-V: to integrate
Hyper-V: i just can't wait
Hyper-V: it's part of 2k8
Hyper-v: they're hid away
Hyper-v: my drive Array
Hyper-v: it came and saved the day
Hyper-V: and I'm online
Hyper-V: and In no time

Podcast on landofsilly.mypodcast.com

http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/07/Goldynet_and_the_three_Developers-125627.html

The Story of GoldyNet and the three Developers

One day, a very long time ago, in a far far far away land called Microsoft there lived a Network Administrator called Goldynet.  

Goldynet worked in a big shiny office full of magical creatures like the Project eating Managers, and the terrible trolls of the Human Resource crushers.

Also in this magical shiny office lived three developers.   A Senior Developer, a beta tester and a little little little baby recruit.

One day, the three developers left the office, being that it was five O clock spot, and time to run off to the magical land of drinky drinky.

Goldynet that same day, by just sheer co-incidence of course (And absolute NO other reason, NONE!) decided to re-install the network servers.   Because being a perfect network

administrator, every ran absolutely perfectly.   And she was bored. And there was no discontent or unhappy users (or managers) because Goldynet had their access completely

stripped and had them mysteriously fired the next day.

So Goldynet, being bored, decided to completely wipe out the operating from scratch and test all the backup and restores.

Now being a very smart and power network Administrator, Goldynet had written all of this in Powershell scripts, and thus could just sit about and wait while everthing just

magically reinstalled itself.

Now of course, Goldynet, being that he (hey we didn't actually say Goldynet was a woman did we, oh you silly people! Naughty naughty silly people!) HE was absolutely bored

stiff.  So Goldynet decided it was high time and very good to start some exploring!  Yes adventure!

Now everytime Goldynet was in the office, the developers were in their little magic land.  They were not happy people they saw Goldynet and would wag their and say "Go away!  Go

away!   You are restricting our access!  Go away!  This is our private land!"

So naturally, being a polite (and very sneaky!) Network Administrator, Goldynet avoided the developers magic room.   Because it had that sign that said "KEEP OUT, DEVELOPERS

ONLY.   DO NOT ENTER OR YOU WILL BE EATEN BY A GRUE"

Goldynet didn't like the thought of being eaten by a grue.  But tonight, Goldynet, noticed that the sign fell off.  So since the sign suggested not to enter the FLOOR as per say

(which was a silly thought anyhow) Goldynet, used her magic all door lock opening key (100 LB SLEDGE HAMMER) and opened the door to the developers office.

Now Goldynet was completely and utterly bored and very curious.  And had complete and utter access to the entire swarm of operating system features.   That and Goldynet was

drunk.  What else do you do at 2:00am with a reinstalling network cluster and restoring backups of exabytes of data?

So now have a situation involving a drunken network adminstrator, who's very smart, very bored and very very very mischieovus.  

And three completely and helpless development systems.

So the first computer was HUGE and SUPER POWERFUL.  But it didn't have anything really fun to play with.  Because the senior developer was a smart person, and kept all of his

personal data and applications on his encrypted memory key.   His platform was actually rather only of interest to developers.   So Goldynet looked about, played with the

machine and moved on to the next computer.

The next computer was even more powerful.  But it was full of Beta software, which wouldn't properly interact with all the fun stuff on the network.   It had some games to play,

with but they were in Beta test, so the games kept crashing.  So Goldynet went on to the next computer

The third computer was just right.  Plenty of space and power because it was owned by the little little little baby recruit.   The little baby recruit was given a powerful

computer to entice him.   However, the little baby recruit was also busy filling the computer with games of wonder and mp3's and filthy filthy wonderful filthy movies.   So

Goldynet, of course naturally played with this computer the most.  Then of course naturally completely backed it all up and and replaced the computers guts with a Commodore 64

inside.

So Goldynet, feeling all inspired and hungry after all of this play looked about for something to eat.  

Now the Senior Developer had a boxed lunch, it was full of nasty healthy things in it.  Goldynet took a bite and spat it on the keyboard "YUCK LETTUCE! HORRID STUFF!"

The Beta tester had a least a Soda and a sandwich but the Soda was Diet Flavoured and the sandwich was all anchovies. "BLEACH! BLAAAAAAAH!" Goldynet screamed and threw it

against the wall.  HORRID stuff!

Now the little little baby recruit had a box full of meaty pizza and a two four of beer hidden under the desk.  So of course, naturally Goldynet decided to eat it all.  And of

course, as a courtesy, finished up all the beer.

Naughty naughty Goldynet.

Now after all of eating and playing, Goldynet was quite tired.  So first off, she tried the Senior Developers chair.  But it was far too hard because the senior developer just

wouldn't down, being a busy person.

Then Goldynet tried the Beta testers chair.   However the Beta testers chair was all worn out and full of spiky things to poke into the beta when things went wrong.

Then Goldynet looked and found a fully extendable sofa bed laid out for the little little little baby recruit, since the little baby recruit was being so gently taken care of.

And so of course, completely full and tired and drunken.  Goldynet crashed out UNDER the couch, which of course makes absolutely no sense.  But's it my story so go away.... Keep

your opinions out of my story.

Now it's 6:00am in the morning and the three developers, having just left the land of Drinky drinky, arrived to work.

The first thing they noticed was the large hole in the door.   Oh my!  Who could have done such a thing.

The next thing they noticed was the rather disorganized state of their magic office.  

"Somebody's been playing with MY COMPUTER" said the senior developer

"Somebody' been playing with MY COMPUTER and pooped in the application pool!" said the Beta tester

"AND SOMEBODY'S BEEN PLAYING WITH MY COMPUTER AND ERASED ALL MY POR..... HEY HOW COME IT HAS A BLUE SCREEN WITH 38911 Bytes FREE?" Said the little little baby recruit

Then they noticed their lunches.

"SOMEBODY'S been eating my lunch!" Said the senior developer

"SOMEBODY'S been eating my lunch and threw it all over the floor!" Said the beta tester

".... and SOMEBODY's ate my lunch and drank all my BEE..... I mean my MILK" cried the little little baby recruit.

... OH MY!

Then they looked.   The chairs.

"SOMEBODY SAT IN MY CHAIR!  And it REEEEKS!" Said the senior developer

"SOMEBODY SAT IN MY CHAIR and bent the poky spikes in it " Said the beta tester

"And somebody opened my big comfy sofa couch and is nowhere to be found..." Said the little little baby recruit.

... And then Goldynet Groaned a terrible groan and let out a terrible amount of methane (what with all the Pizza and Beer and anchovies?!? What would you expect?!)

The sound terrified the three developers as they leapt back as the the giant sofa came to life (or more Goldynet, being a very fat Network Admistrator stood up taking the couch

with him.

And so the three developers ran for the very lives from the terrifying Sofa bed monster who must eaten up all the food and computers and destroyed the chairs and made the big

hole in the door.  I mean isn't that what sofa bed monsters do?

And so of course Goldynet, under the cover of being a giant Sofa bed monster, crept or more klumped or stumbled back into his office and doctored all the security tapes to make

it look like the developers had broken their own in a drunken stupor.

and so... only GOLDYNET lived happily ever after

The end.

Hey!  I never knew about this.  I just got an email MSDN was sending out.   I always get these because I think it's good to have lots of little bits of information in front of you.   Sometimes it's presently useful, sometimes it isn't.  But you NEVER know what will come your way.

THIS ONE WAS COOL!

I didn't know Microsoft has a program called RampUP.  I guess the simplest way to think of it is to get developers up to the next level, wherever they're at.  Even older developers / coders.  Even just people THINKING about getting into programming on some level.

And you know for me?  THIS IS PERFECT! 

Are you like me?  Trained in programming in older languages?  Haven't really had a chance to get into the new since you're too busy?

Or maybe you're already there trying to see where your career can get you, or need to learn something new.

Or for whatever reason, your a sick twisted individual whose an IT Pro that might want to LOOK into developing and coding because your job might call for it, even a little bit.

Then check out RampUP.

I don't know if there is any REAL costs involved myself but it's certainly interesting.  There is a plethora of resources online to check out and it's amazing how well organized this whole pile is!

Go there.  Go there now.  It costs nothing to look.  And I think there is even some free courseware articles online.

RampUP.  Who knows.  Maybe you'll take away some poor Microsoft guy's job when you're done... :)

http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/07/the_Dragon_Y2K-124229.html

the Dragon Y2K

Once upon a high end query, while I sat weak eyed and bleary,
Staring at a large and oversized Information store,
I felt myself a snoozing, but not a result of boozing,
As dreams felt floating, floating to a quieter shore,
But I bolted up blinking, blinking at a screen that was winking
Making me forget quickly about some magical land or lore

But A time I do remember, A dark and fateful past December,
When times were grim and people were feeling down
A cry went to the street, a pounding of the feet
"Too few numbers they did use!" said the many with a frown
Their eyes popped wide open, the industry has spoken
The Beast was about to crawl out and show its face to the town

This problem must not linger, and with a blasting of the finger
Many a coder was brought forth from forgotten past
COBOL code was dug back out, "An EXTRA TWO" they did shout,
Lines were rewritten in a flurry from the first to the last
Hollerith readers were brought in, to re-read the ancient sin,
Created by coders who who's own code they did not outlast.

But the ancients were heard to find, and companies were in a bind,
"Hire those that will" and we will make it worth their while
And so the schools shoved out, many a talented and helpless lout
"Code or DIE" they screamed as they thrown upon the pile
And with a shrieking of the masses, as they exited their classes
The gathered slowly to the dreaded COBOL Isle

And so the task began, for it was a simple plan.
Change from two to four and recompile it at the end
And then the problems came to all, With this task we may fall
For it was not just COBOL code that was hit with this bend
Pascal, Forth and Basic too, twas like opening up a zoo
The problems came forth and more they had to mend

And then the nightmare grew, the many were not few
For they dug into other problems that were not seen
VCR's and Airplanes were checked, sometimes things turned out wrecked
For they were also from times that'd been
Car computers "Please no way", Other things they could not say
But the dragon Y2K crawled it's way out to the scene

And so the battle came, our goals were all the same
For one short moment peace seemed a possible goal
For we were united as one, in this twisted mirky fun
To take up the swords and take down the beasts role
Quoth the world stand away, we will smite down Y2K
and soon we shall spit it remains to a bowl

A Great united cause, for nobody would ever pause
to allow this creature to become free
Company bonuses did ensue and Incentives from Governments flew
to strike down the power of this creature from ancient "C"
Old systems were thrown out, to fight these evil lout
Cascades and upgrades were performed to have the dragon flee.

The battle continued on, our time was almost gone
to eliminate the fouls we once did make and play
The coders were a quivering, the people were a shivering
Time was coming soon, we may all go away
The beast it sat there grinning, for it would soon be winning,
"Fear me now, for I am the dragon Y2K"

The Dragon licked it lips, the people had many slips
and falls as they tried to fight it down
Missiles launched without trying, as their time they thought was flying
as many more glitches and errors made us frown
But the dragon sat there with a smile, an evil grin to cover the while
It's stomach grumbled in anticipation as it moved towards the town.

The coders said "Do or DIE", It became there battle cry
for they would not go down without a fight
The Dragon let it shout, it would not let them out
For this time was its own, it would let fire in the night
Microsoft and IBM, Apple TOO became friends
to strike down this unseemly blight

But Commodores did still exist, within our very midst,
old Apples, Tandys and Osbornes were still alive and well
And the programs they still went, thought many of the systems were spent
processors and memory worn out long before the nell
So nobody thought twice, to correct that silly vice
Data was brought over, systems rewritten, their hearts dropped in the well

The beast was snarling loudly, it snapped it jaws so proudly
It roared its head to the very sky
Fear me now your time is short, I shall have you all soon for sport
The dragon Y2K snapped its jaws and began to fly
It's claws they were a gleaming, and in truth it was a seeming
That soon, our time on this planet would be nigh

Stories they began to float, reporters told and wrote
of terrifying sights that would happen during that day
Planes and satellites would be falling, the Russians would be calling
to warn of of the dangers and creatures about to play
The world it was ending, and our sins though they were mending
were about to claim us all on the night of Y2K

Friends and familys joined as one, Let's all just have some fun
Old enemies were forgiven this short time
For in this night if were are wrong, what is the problem with some song
For in this world, happiness cannot be a crime
And so for a short bit, nobody yelled or had a fit
About petty things before that death bell would chime

But the dragon yelled to all, for soon you will fall
to the errors created in your own way
I will fly to town and sea, my presence it will be
forever written in books and not forgotten today
For I am the mighty creature, in films they did feature
The dreaded, vicious and might dragon Y2K.

So we hid inside our home, Better to be alive and not alone
Sat down upon a chair to ponder our plight
The night it was not pleasing, for the beast it was teasing,
taunting me of that dreaded wight
I hugged my children, kissed my life, prayed to God to spare their life
Sat huddled in a corner to wait through this terrible night.

Sleep it did happen, But wait, what is this?  This morning I did not miss!
I woke up to see the very lovely day!
Sun is gleaming, birds are singing, the church bells are dinging.
The dragon it seems did NOT come out to play
Time is here, a new day shows, The wind it gently blows,
And to the dragon I cry "Screw you Y2K!"

Need a video for this puppy.

http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/07/And_Vistas_in_Me-123528.html

I still can't sing but I can have fun at it... ;)

Ah some older LandOfSilly turned to live Podcast.  Inspired by some un named entities who travelled a little too much and got "Brain Fog" when they realized that hadn't eaten in almost 24 hours... :)

http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/07/Food_Tech_Support-122733.html

Enjoy all.  I promise.  No singing this time.

Maybe.

From the Toronto Pride 2008 - Performed by my sister namoli brennet (Nahmowlee)

Bad mixing of video done by a very amateurish computer Nerd Sean... :)

Hey It's a BEAUTIFUL day outside today!  It's Canada Day!

In honour of Canada Day I've remembered to put my "u" in Honour and Colour.  I've also dug into a certain video site to find some clips of something so Canadian you can't deny it.  Geddy Lee singing the Canadian National Anthem.

And of course, who can deny them?

YUP.  Bob & Doug MacKenzie!  Enjoy it eh?