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June 30 Crappy Lans Done by A CreepOriginal Song AC/DC Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap - They can sing... I can't ... :) Karaoke version of "Dirty Deeds Done Dirty Cheap" from AC/DC Volume 205 Legends Series - 16 Amazing AC/DC tracks in Karaoke form. Enjoy. Click here for the audio version and bad singing http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/index.html If you're walkin' into an office dead, Crappy lans, done by a creep You've got sparks flyin' all around Crappy lans, done by a creep KAZZZZZPP! You see a server sittin' in the room Crappy lans, done by a creep No redunancy Octopi Category 3 Done by a creep Twist Ties Arcnet Low Voltage Done by a creep Crappy LANS, Oh my God there is no floor, Done by a Creep NYEAH HAH HAH HA HA HHAHAHA H I am Code Ninja - Podcasted
http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/06/I_am_Code_Ninja-121575.html Now I wonder where I can find a Ninja outfit to make this into a cool video? :) Code Ninja term inspired by EnergizeIT 2008 - Team Code Ninja - Jean-Luc David and Qixing Zheng. The concept of the song was "SOMEBODY" muttering a comment about "Ozzy Ninja". Shouldn't have planeted the thought in my head... Shame .... SHAME! June 28 Received in Email - Summer Classes for menThis is not one of mine, but every so often a gem floats in the e-mail. Had to re-share this one out to the world... :) Summer Classes for Men at
BONUS CLASS: Calling When You're Going To Be Late. June 27 Namoli Brennet at Toronto Pride!Hey folks! I've been not watching the papers! This weekend only! At the Toronto Pride is Namoli Brennet. That's right, the one and only. My sister Namoli will be singing on stage June 28th, Toronto Pride, George Hislop Stage between Charles & Isabella St. If you miss it, I will cast a spell of silliness over your entire day... :) June 19 Hockey Night at MicrosoftInspired by some "tweets" that happened at MSFT Canada involving an "Accidental Bodyslam"... :) http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/06/Hockey_Night_in_Microsoft-118704.html Enjoy June 18 Sharing my Passion - Well one at least... :)I think the Microsoft Home Passion contest is for the most part over so I can safely show my attempt in their contest. Didn't make the top 25 but it was fun to do all the same. Enjoy or break out your Friday Funny Safety Kits. June 17 IT Pro TorontoIf you're out there listening. 30 Eglinton Avenue, Mississauga. Upstairs at Nexient. Monthly meeting of ITPro Toronto (www.itprotoronto.ca) Doesn't cost anything more than time. Check it out if you're interested in technology or just meeting computer people. Or if you like sneaking into secret societies... ;) Tonight. Tuesday. June 17th. Be there or be some undefinable shape that can't exist.... :P June 16 Marriage Software - Wife 1.0I Just got this in from one of our field Techs. I've seen this before but this is a true classic and MUST be shared. Enjoy. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MARRIAGE SOFTWARE This is what a guy wrote to a systems analyst (Marriage Software Division): Dear Systems Analyst, I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
Dear Customer, This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0 program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to
(See manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees).
Nerd Test - Try it. You're doomed... :}Found this on Garth Jones' Blog MyITForum.com and I had to just try it. I think you get a "NERD POINT" for that alone Here's my score.... ;)
My life has only begun...
Hinterland Whos Who - the Inchworm - Lost footage - NOT!Look what I found on the basement floor.... No really. Seriously! Ok fine I just made it up. Enjoy.
June 15 Grok and LoadInspired by Team Code Ninja from Energize IT 2008 and the phrase "Grok and Load" coined by Jean-Luc David
June 14 Dad vs. the Breakfast - Father's Day!Dad is snoozing. It's that one morning. That one morning of blessed peace and quiet he can call his own. That one simple day he can sleep in. Silence. Golden silence. *BANG* *KLUNK* "Shhhhhhhhhh! You're going to wake up Dad!" "You can't use that for pancake mix!" "Hey! I was going to make the bacon! Put that down!" "Gross! The dog licked it." Dad shuffles in his slumber. "Go away noise." he thinks to himself. This is Fathers Day. Noise not allowed. Big rule. Funny thing about noise and noise makers. They don't know how to read rules. 'specially Dad Rules. "Put that away, it'll catch fire!" "Ewwwwwwwww!" "You know, bacon isn't supposed to be THAT colour!" "What's that smell?" Mom lays quietly undisturbed by the downstairs commotion. Mom has a special shield attached her ears. The unique "I hear this everyday and can't hear it now" shield. Dad tries to learn from Mom. But Dad's been working. He puts the pillow over his head to hide from the suspected onslaught. "Hey don't use that, the cat was sniffing it!" "Quick, hurry up before the dog gets to that it again." Smells are working their way upstairs. Quietly and slowly. Some are good. Yes nice delicious breakfasty smells. And some, Dad can't quite identify. On any level. They are TRULY unique smells. The smells waft deeper into his senses. Dad is getting two unique reactions now. The first of course is "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...... BREAKFAST!" (drool is crawling from Dad's lips with this thought) The second, and more mysterious is... well... Just WHAT is that second set of smells and WHY has he never smelt them before?! But the first thought takes a bit boot and kick's the second one in the rear end. This is Father's day. To heck with that second thought today. So Dad manages to lay down and konk out for an hour longer. Peace. Yes peace will happen today. Without effort. Without trial. Without thought. Blessed thoughts permeate through that simple time. For a moment. Dad dreams. The dream roams in and crafts a life of it's own. Dad finds himself fishing quietly on a lake with no noise. That boat becomes a plane, which turns into a rocket ship. Suddenly Dad is a superhero knocking down bad guys. The superhero is a race car driver. The race car driver is suddenly bringing about peace to others. Suddenly he wins money and brings his family to a better life. Suddenly he is a time traveler, visiting his long last younger self. Telling himself how to avoid the mistakes of the future. And slipping in some lottery numbers for good measure. The dream ripples and echoes. Thoughts and visions float through his head. The answer to world peac..... *BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP* (The feet tear up the stairs) "HEY DAD!!" "WE MADE YOU BREAKFAST!" "HAPPY FATHER'S DAY" Dad's eyes cry for a simple moment to ignore the happy voices. Just for a moment. Then of course Dad tells the eyes to shut up. The eyes listen to Dad and open. Three beaming faces covered in soot, toast, grease, pancake batter and what appears to be some fur stare down at him smiling. Ignoring all thoughts Dad glances, forcing a smile at the smorgasbord (or regurgitated surprise) that has appeared before him. Laying in front of Dad is a large cover to a Bin from the basement. It is covered in plates and some brown liquid spilled from a cup that appears to contain something somewhat resembling coffee. Half pink half black bacon, seven eggs of completely unique colours. Toast that appears to have some dog fur on it. Coffee that smells suspiciously like motor oil and salt. Pancakes that aren't quite shapes or smells that can be identified. "WELL TRY IT! WE MADE IT! WE MADE YOU BREAKFAST IN BED!" Mom is awake now and smiling. Mother's Day was just before and she is smiling. Smiling since she knows better than Dad what has to happen. It's Dad's turn. Dad takes a bite of the least dangerous looking part of the plate. Bacon. A big chunk of blackened bacon. *CHOMP* Half of Dad's wisdom tooth looks up as if to say "What were you thinking!" and yelps back in complaint. Dad ignores it and continues to chomp down. A fork attacks part of an egg and makes it quickly disappear. Dad's stomach has other things to say about that egg. But again. "Bugger off stomach!" Dad thinks to himself. Ahh, the pancakes. They can't be THAT bad. Dad begins to slice one with a fork. It won't slice. "Ahhhh well done, just the way I like them." Dad mumbles and gets the readily available steak knife to slice into it. A full minute later Dad has a slice of pancake on the fork. Well not quite on. More supported between the fork and the knife since the fork wouldn't penetrate the pancake. Dad puts the slice into his mouth. Tastes suspiciously like Sheetrock. Not quite sure WHY Dad knows what sheetrock tastes like. But that was the taste. A readily provided napkin to wipe his mouth, and Dad sneaks away the sheetrock pancake. "Mmmmmm...." is all they hear, and see. He's sips of gasp of the 10W-30 Coffee and forces it down. He swallows and gets a smile on his face and puts upon the greatest act ever. "Why, " he pauses and mulls trying to keep it all down. "That was the most delicious breakfast ever!" Hugs dive into Dad. From Mom too. For him being such a trooper. The cooks march out of the room proudly, singing of the great thing they pulled off for Dad. Soon the chefs have left, Dad is feeling a little full, or maybe ill. The motor oil salt coffee was muddling his thought process. Mom knowing what Dad is thinking, passes a bottle of Pepto Bismal and Antacid tablets; along with a clear glass of water. A peck on his cheek. "Happy Father's Day honey." The breakfast would settle by lunch. And a bottle of Seltzer would settle the rest. Father's Day is here and the day will be good. A quiet day of whatever will happen and will be. To all Father's out there that are, and all Father's out there that will be. Happy Father's Day. The best is yet to come. Confessions of a Computer Geek - Audio version - PodcastFinally put it to audio. My first attempt at podcast. http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/06/Confessions_of_a_Computer_Geek-117280.html Enjoy share. Destroy bandwidth... ;) June 12 The ways of the GeekThe DarkSide of the geek. It is an early morning. Standing within the hallowed Halls of Microsoft is an odd group. Crossing many races, religions and creeds. The Influencers. Resplendant in their simple tattered robes they listen quietly deeply meditating on words of wisdom being passed down by the Lords of Microsoft. "The ways of the geek have a powerful influence on the weak minded...." intoned a hooded figure at the front of the room. "Allow me to demonstrate." The gathering of simple monk like denizens followed the hooded one. They came to an entrance locked and guarded. The hooded one looked down. A simple wave of its hand "*you*don't*need*to*see*my*security*pass*". "Whatever." he responded and the door opened. A mumbling of the crowd. Sounds of "Master" and "Impressive" could be heard echoing without. They passed into the chamber and sat upon the ground cross legged. The hooded one continued. "The ways of the geek can used to influence objects as well. Note this non-functional network..." They look and see a room of cursing users swearing. The hood one intones. "Stretch out... Seeeeek the problem....feel the error...." Moments later a quick call on the Smartphone. "Yes. Cubicle 14, 3rd floor. You will find a damaged Lan cable and a copy of Limewire..." Much nodding and approvement from the gaggle of seated ones. "Yes the ways of the geek are powerful indeed. It can be a strong force for good." "....or Evil?!..." piped up a crackly gerbilized squeaky voice. As if on cue, the circuit breaker tripped cutting out the lights. A hush fell over the room. The hooded one spun about arms cast wide. "WHO SAID THAT?!" A recently seated figure, eyes glowing bloodshot red from too little sleep and too much coffee, leapt up. It was Mr. Trouble. His eyelashes replaced by glowing fibre optics for effect. "*YOU!*" spat the hooded one. "*This place is not for you*" "Yessss old masssster..." hissed the bad ripoff of a certain 'Ring' trilogy. "I haft returrrrrned. It isssss time for you to sssstep down." A hum. A click. A hum. A click. Mr. Trouble looks at the presently useless weapon in his hand. "Damn! Forgot to charge it overnight!" He whips it at the hooded figure while pulling out a StarTrek phaser. *klik* *klik* *klik* "Damn eBay! They sssssaid it worked!" Cursed Mr. Trouble. The hooded figure looks up at ceiling as if to say "Why me?" It gestures quietly to the rest to apprehend Mr. Trouble. Suddenly realizing he's out of options, he releases a sound of pure anguish. A cry to send banshees running in terror. A noise so horrid, horses would cut their own heads off to not hear it. Very loud, high pitched and off key the sound from the internet returned. "I'm using Powershell!" The many cringed at the horrid offkey and offbeat singing. They covered their ears to protect themselves. "I'm using Powershell....." Birds leapt to their own death to hide from the sound. But the hooded one sat unphased. Nerves of steel he seemed to have. "I'M USING POWERSHELL!!!" the shrill increased as glass began shattering. Bodies were writhing in agony on the ground. "Make it stop! Make it stop!" and "My ears!" were constantly being heard. The hooded figure stood. A tower of serenity against the darkness. Tapping it's foot impatiently. "I'M USING .... *huff* ....*huff* .... I'M...*gasp*" The caffeine fit complete, Mr. Trouble collapsed to the ground. The noise gone, the many influencers in their tattered cloaks recovered. Looking up they saw the hooded cloak pulled back revealing Lord Damir sporting a very nice set of earplugs. "You see my young ones, sometimes a simple solution is best." as he removed the earplugs. The hooded figure stepped down and walked over. Looking at the creature, shaking and shivering, he shook his head. "How many times do I have to tell you guys? No more coffee for Sean? It just causes problems." June 11 Grok and Load - Inspired by Team Code Ninja and their Glorius Leader and Energize IT 2008"Grok and Load" sung to "Rock you Like a Hurricane" from the Scorpions. A hum of power a flash of light I compile the code in the blink of an eye Grok and load Binary thoughts are shocking the day The web is alive with Silverlight Grok and load Grok and load Grok and Load.... A hum of power a flash of light I compile the code in the blink of an eye Grok and load Grok and load Grok and Load.... Code Ninja - the Song"Code Ninja" Sung to Sweet Leaf by Ozzy Osborne. Idea conceived by Jean-Luc David of Microsoft and his "Ozzy Ninja" comment... :) So crank out the tunes while you crank out the code. "CODE NINJA" Shout it out yeah! See my modules! I am Code Ninja, I hack away Run C Run Procs, Modules, my life is compiled. Your apps they core dumped, I hear you cry In the night, slicing code Memory leaks and looping, inefficient code Machine code yeah! Codin' time Proc me Compile it yeah Airtight, so clean Come on call out the Code Ninja oh yeah oh yeah Nightmares gone yeah Phreak with me yeah I am Code Ninja, oh oh... June 06 Microsoft Canada Influencers - Conference 2008It was my great honour to be invited to a conference of people across this great nation of Canada. The Microsoft Influencers. In the two days prior to Energize IT I had the chance to meet some of the most interesting, warped, creative, funny, inspiring and flat out spark igniting people ever. While there I tried dipping my hands into photography and Video. This is my first foray into this area. If you were there, you'll remember. And nobody was made fun of.... I'll save that for a later post.... ;) The Music "WEST" from the KGB Trio was composed by my brother Brenden.
Hinterland Whos Who - The ChickadeeSome ancient footage from Canada.... It may save your life.
June 05 A little Something for Developers - Coding Until MidnightJudas Priest did the original "Living After Midnight" Thanks to a Karaoke version and a bit too much coffee we have "Coding Until Midnight" - Yadda yadda - apologies apologies...
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