| Sean 的个人资料Energized About Technolo...照片日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
|
3月30日 My Laptop Gets Around
Bits in () are the wife / girlfriend yelling in the background of the line. You'll get it. Round round get around I'm never alone any day or night My laptops loaded up with lots of VHD's We got our sound I'm in another bed At conventions my girl whips out her Hyper-V I can never leave her out, she's as sweet as can be We get around Round round get around we get around 3月27日 You know you're a Geek - The RETURN!If you can identify various cellphones by model by their unique sounds (And are visibly irritated when you CAN'T!) Setting up the Bluetooth system to tie the GPS, Laptop, MP3 player and handsfree system is a piece of cake. Changing the tire isn't. If you had to genuinely think twice about paying for that new gadget or paying your hydro bill. REALLY had to think. When your kids were born, if you considered (at least for a blink of an eye) naming the kid Bill, Steve or Jack (because of CERTAIN computer guys) If you tried and bothered arguing with your wife about it. If you have at least two boxes of "useful electronic stuff" you can't bear to part with and won't throw away. If you paid to courier those boxes to your new house for your new job. If you recommend to clients to buy new equipment but you'll get buy on slapping an old laptop together from bits and pieces. If you seriously have considered or have had a breakfast comprised of Cookies, Soda pop and potato chips. If you are on a one to one basis with the cashier at the local McDonald's, BurgerKing, Wendy's, Taco Bell. If The local Pizza shop is on speed dial. If you can insulate your basement with all the used pizza boxes. If you can genuinely imitate either Kirk, Scotty, Bones or McCoy or "Ensign RedShirt" If you are dreaming to this day of "Transporter" technology or having a phaser handy to take out the driver that cut you off. You were a member of at least ONE of the following in ANY school. Chess Club, Dungeons and Dragons, Computer Club, A/V club, Band. You can understand 90% of the acronyms out there. You can't spell Mississauga or Mississippi. You walk about wearing at least ONE (if not more) memory keys. You carry at least two gadgets at any point in time. You own your own cable testing, probing, punch down and crimping equipment. You have at least two stickers on your laptop. You collect "Swag" for a hobby. If you have ever tried to impress people with an emulator on your cell phone. If you have ever trolled Goodwill for old computer hardware. If you've ever installed Linux from floppy disks. If your Digital camera has Wifi. If you've ever owned a Vectrex. Geek's can't sing!
But I know I can't. I couldn't hold a note if it was supported by steel plated two by fours and nailed to a concrete wall with Krazy Glue and 8 inch spikes. Is that an accurate enough description? Just how bad is my singing? Well let me see. Have you ever seen a cat saw off it's own ears just to NOT hear you sing? Fish spontaneously explode to avoid it? Dog's running in front of cars rather than put up with the auditory sonic blast you're emitting? How about the microphone just stop's working? The Audio recording software or device imploding to get you to stop? Sounds pretty bad doesn't it. It is. I'm trying to find a solution. I was thinking of getting some 24th century Star Trek technology to modify my vocal chords. But unless you got me the vocal chords of that blue chick from the 5th Element, I think the world is doomed. Even then I think this would be a huge problem. I've tried using Audio software to improve my voice, but all I get is a very off key singing gerbil. Ever heard "Highway to PowersHell" (the original version) on Youtube? Yup. Pretty bad eh? Then I tried "Grovelling musically" like in every heavy metal band. That seems to work ok. But unfortunately after trying to do that for an hour or so I found a new set of problems. One is I can't keep the beat properly. The second is I start sounding like a mobster and end up scaring all my customers off. Picture "Marlon Brandon" from the "Godfather" saying. "I'm sorry my friend, but there seems to be a problem with your check. It appears to have bounced. Would you have any type of alternate payment." So as we can see, my trying to sing causes all sorts of problems. On the plus side, everybody in the house (including my wife) has been pretty much leaving me alone (to avoid the sonic distress upon their ears) so I can actually get caught up on my work. But I need this problem solved. I need to sound like Brian Johnson of AC/DC while having the vocal abilities of "Bobcat" Goldthwait. Anybody know how to pull that off? I mean WITHOUT kidnapping Brian Johnson of AC/DC? 3月26日 IT Pro Toronto - Go there - Or I'll use liquid paper on your monitor.
Do you like computers? Are you curious about new technology? Does the thought of a Commodore 1541 disk drive singing "Daisy Daisy" make you go "Gaga?" Would like to run into others of a like mind just because? Or do you just like coffee? Then go to www.itprotoronto.com and register for the next meeting. They meet the 3rd Tuesday of each month at 30 Eglinton Ave in Mississauga at Nexient. Go there Even you might like to try and sneak a free slice of pizza... :) Next Meeting is April 15th at 6:00pm. Formal Dress not required. Or is it? Hmmmm...... Energize IT 2008 - Toronto!Ok. You looking to check out some new technology, meet some people? How about a "Day away from it all" for a computer person? Looking for a little something for Everyone? Check out Energize IT 2008! Saturday May 24th, 2008 at the Toronto Congress Centre. Just off the 401 near Dixon Road. Just look for the Harvey's! Cost? Oh no! Not that! That's right ... it's....it's.... FREE YES...It's... FREE .... and it doesn't even have spyware attached to it! That's right, a Saturday, so no excuses for not going... So check it out.... or I'll make fun of you... :)
What if Star Trek Transporters REALLY existed?
"Boy if I could only just 'Beam' myself there." Yep. Bet you've all heard it haven't you? Commuters seem to use this phrase the most. Well then. Let's enter a little world called "Make believe it was real." Let's imagine, just for a bit. That this technology TRULY existed. That it was reasonably stable. I say "reasonably" because since technology is designed by humans at SOME level, there is always going to be a level of error. That's life. Deal with it.... :) But let's just imagine and let our thoughts wander. Imagine for JUST a bit that it wasn't "life threatening" on any level. Feel better? Good. Now immediately EVERY commuter, every person who ever had to WAIT for anything will scream "YES!" Forgot something here though. Requires power. So there's probably going to be a limited set of these. What does that mean? Lineups! "UGH!" The groans will echo throughout. I know. Now let's if we can imagine a little past Mr. Roddenberry (RIP) and every other Sci-Fi writer on this one. How about what happens when it breaks down? "Oh oh!" I hear in the back "Call in a tech!" Right! Of course! Brilliant! Why hadn't I thought of that? Well present day, does every tech repair every piece of equipment equally well? No? Oh! Why not the same on Transporters? Ooops! Problem there! Can you imagine being the poor person being transported TO a beaming destination where the last tech bandaged it together with "Duct-Tape" and "Twisties". Maybe a little electrical tape and a paperclip for good measure? Now you're getting scared! Aren't you? Why do you think Dr. McCoy dreaded them? He wasn't nuts. He knew what happened to repaired equipment. Look who kept the Enterprise running. A Brilliant but DRUNKEN technician. I'd hate to see the condition of what one of Scotty's repairs REALLY looked like. Aye. He was a miracle worker. But we all know the miracles we've pulled off from time to time, some of them weren't meant to last as long as they did. It's a miracle that thing didn't blow up in front of the Klingons some days. Now let's step forward another thought. Did anybody, ever think what would happen if you sneezed JUST as you transported? Right. Our good friends in the 24th century didn't seem to think a nice glass shield would have been useful to prevent "Accidents" did they? "Yeah but there was an energy shield there probably." Maybe, but I never seen the good Captain beamed up and accidentally bump into the energy shield. Now let's go a different direction. What if they were common household appliances? I can see this getting abused. Remember the "Simpsons" episode where Homer went to use one as a bathroom? Step it up a notch. Don't like your neighbours? Think beaming a few rotten eggs into the heater vent would be funny? How about kids getting at it? Little Joey beams the cat four stories in the air. Poor thing drops on Grandma. Or it replaces the car, so then you get embarrassing questions like this. "Why does the transporter smell like cigarette smoke?" "Who's bra was that I found on the transporter?!" "Did anybody clean up what the dog did on the transporter?" (Sure that you could beam out I suppose) "Oh Gross, somebody got beam-sick in the transporter!" Or even worse. Somebody goes on bender or has a few too many and beams into the wrong house. Remember keys aren't needed if you have a transporter. You see? Not a perfect world. I'm certain all this was happening in the 24th century but due to editing guidelines and television restrictions, we were never meant to see it. So please, think twice when you ask for beaming technology. It might just come true..... 3月23日 Energize IT Theme Song - Geeking Gone Mad
Geek out! What to do? Smartphones are on COME GET ENERGIZED! Get there by Highway Meet MVPs TO GET ENERGIZED! YEEEEEEAH Now we're freakin' on the stage ENERGIZED! ENERGIZED! Hey, jump and shout ENERGIZED! WE'RE ALL ENERGIZED!!!!!!!! Fear the Easter Bunny
Oh yeah. The Easter Bunny. "What?" you say "What's that I hear? What's wrong with the Easter Bunny?" Nothing is my response. Nothing at all if you don't mind a large fuzzy sharp clawed disgruntled mythical creature roaming YOUR kitchen each year. "What's this disgruntled?" you say. Think about it. That rabbit is roaming houses every year with eggs, chocolate, candy, plastic grass, baskets and the odd fluffy bunny. "Hippity Hoppity to every house in the land." That's a heavy load to go "Hippity Hoppity" with. And quite large. Did it occur to anybody just HOW heavy that can be? Sure. When he was younger, full of energy. No problem. I'm certain when we were all in our younger years we'd lifted and moved things that would have shocked our parents. Why most days they were shocked when we lifted a finger! Moving a CEMENT Block?! Unheard of! So let's sit down and put this into perspective. We have a large hairy rabbit standing about 6 foot tall weighing in close to 350 pounds (Well he's GOING to have some girth. If your job each year in the same time frame as Santa Claus was to deliver candy, I'm certain you'd have been sampling from time to time). At no point has anybody ever suggested what means of conveyance this large fairy tale creature has. Never. Just "Hippity Hoppity.". I'm sorry. When I'm carrying about 2 tons of chocolate and candy (possibly more, somebody do the math please?) I'm not going to be in a hippity hoppity mood. I would expect a four hundred year old giant overweight chocolate eating rabbit would be in the same league. Or worse. So now we see the clear picture. In your kitchen, once a year, unwatched. You have a large, overweight, geriatric, disgruntled rabbit in your kitchen who's probably also wearing depends and molting fur all over the place. Not a pretty picture is it? I feel for him, I really do. But I have to be realistic. If this were any other animal, we've had it put down out of sheer mercy. And he's in my kitchen. Dropping off baskets. Probably raiding my fridge too. Little bastard! I'm laying odds, that's not chocolate eggs in the basket either as a result. 3月22日 Energize IT Now!
See them roam in from the nation I'M ENERGIZED! Let yer geek right out! Developers, Managers, ITPros I'M ENERGIZED! Let yer geek right out! ENERGIZED!, (HACK, HACK, HACK) 3月19日 IT Pro Toronto - The Actual Truth RevealedI am hoping nobody stops me. This was scary. There's a secret society that meets in Mississauga. They call it IT Pro Toronto. I think it's to confuse people so they can hide their meetings better. More food I think is the reason. More swag for themselves. But I know where they meet. I found out. I tapped secretly into Microsoft Twitters from internal staff and found out where they were meeting. But you have to be careful you know. You have to wear a disguise. I wore a large black hooded gown to cover my Tilley Hat. 30 Eglinton Avenue in Mississauga. Spread it to others. That's their secret location. I'm thinking if others know, we can keep this Technological version of "the Masons" under control. Before they control the world you see. Have to keep these "secret societies" under check. And so I pass through the gates unchecked. I wave my hands and use my IT powers. "You don't need to see a security pass." Strangely enough, it worked and a helpless MVP guarding the door let me in. Truth is he was too heavily involved drooling over "Cougar" pictures to see what was going on. Strange person. So up the elevator to the 2nd floor. The Second chamber. The guardians of the halls of Nexient stared. But for all they did, they could not sense my true self. And so I was allowed to enter. My powers were strong. They had to be. Daemons were in the room. Pizza guarding daemons. Under the guise of Lords of Microsoft slices were cautiously rationed out. Micro tiny slivers and Dixie cup soda portions. The rest was being saved for "the Wizard" I was told. Hopefully I was not to be noticed in this room. It was difficult. For a Lord of Microsoft was there. "I sense a presence." It said. "I sense the Friday Funny Guy is here." But a quick shuffling of My Dark Cloak and I was gone into the deeper annexes. Into the meeting area. Chanting and Groaning was all that could be heard. A large curtain blocked the front half of the room. Smoke rolled from below it. "SIT ALL! SIT NOW! FOR I AM GREAT AND POWERFUL GARVIS!" The chanting continued. The many sat. "HERE MY WORDS! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL GARVIS WILL TEACH YOU OF HYPER-V!" his voice boomed throughout the cosmos. The Great and Powerful Garvis could not be seen. Just a large glowing entity in front of the curtain. Truly. This secret society had powers! "YOU WILL LISTEN ON WHAT THE GREAT AND POWERFUL GARVIS HAS TO SAY! HYPER-V! COOL! POWERFUL!" The others echoed "Hyper-V! Cool! Powerful! "Hyper-V! Cool! Powerful!" went on the chant. "THIS TRUTH MUST BE REMEMBERED!" The Great and powerful Garvis went on. "FOR I SPEAK IT!" Glancing towards the front of the room a large table was laid out near the curtain. Covered in trinkets in various shapes and size. Offerings to the Great and Powerful Garvis I thought. Oh this is a frightening place to be. The many began to chant more. Suddenly the cloaked individuals stood up and removed their cowels. The truth was indeed horrid. There were Microsoft staff and MVP amongst them! AIGH! The voice boomed on. "THE GREAT AND POWERFUL GARVIS SEES THE OFFERINGS OF XBOX360 AND SWAG! HE IS PLEASED! MY BRETHREN! I WILL BEGIN THE DISTRIBUTION OF THE SWAG!" The room thundered with his presence. And then something happened. Something both amazing and frightening. Items began to float from the table and launch to the hands of the many brethren. Until. "WHO DARES INSULT THIS PLACE WITH THIS PITIFUL PEACE OF SWAG!? THE GREAT GARVIS IS DISPLEASED! A MERE 64 MEG MEMORY KEY!! WHO DISGRACES MY PRESENCE WITH THIS?!" All hands point to the guard. The "Cal" who was busy staring are Cougar pictures and code (And still was!) A large bony claw reaches out from the curtain and personally launches it at The "Cal". It bounces off his body across the room and lands in my lap. I quickly scurry it off under my robe to decipher it's meanings at a later date. "AND NOW MY PEOPLE! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL GARVIS DECREES THE SACRIFICING OF THE PIZZA AND POP MAY BEGIN! ENSURE ALL OF THESE ENTITIES ARE DESTROYED LEST I BE FORCED TO RETURN IT TO MINE HOUSE!" echoing through the room he was. Oh what a frightening site it was. Those poor helpless pepperoni Pizzas. So many helpless slices. I couldn't watch. I stayed back. My error. A hooded form turned about. "I sense... I sense...." It spun about. "YOU! I know YOU! You were at...." But it was too late for the entity. Frankenstein the laptop was quickly pulled out to knock him unconscious. I am on a mission. I must not be discovered. So the many returned from the sacrifice of pizza and Pop. Faces smothered in Pepperoni and the remnants of RedPop. It was at this point I decided to try and ruin this secret society. Under the cover of a black cloak in a black room I cautiously moved to the front. The voice of the Great and Powerful Garvis continued. "HYPER-V! SAVES MONEY! HYPER-V! VIRTUAL EVERYTHING! HYPER-V! DO WORK LESS AND LIE ABOUT IT!" The chanting and repeating continued. So did my movement. Finally at the front, the hooks to the curtain were grasped to REVEAL! The cloaks all dropped as the many gasped. They looked on in horror. "YES!" I cried out. "LOOK UPON YOUR GREAT LEADER! HE IS A GEEK!" The Great and not-so-powerful-anymore Garvis sat upon his stool with two laptops held together by duct tape and four boxes of pizza. He cringed. His true self was revealed. "My precious! My precious!" he muttered as he attempted to scrape together his laptops and wires into a protective huddle. The audience just stared in horror. I proudly marched off to have a celebratory coffee at the Second Cup. Only to find out the Great and Powerful Garvis truly was. He had virtualized it on me with Hyper-V. So the truth is revealed. I have crushed this powerful IT cult to make the world safe. But apparently not their powers.... IT Pro Toronto Meeting - The First OneWell here it is. IT Pro Toronto. The first meeting. The inaugural session. That first chomp of pizza and pop. With the lack of Technet Monthly's something was definitely amiss within the Toronto Region. And you know what? A monthly meeting of semi like minded geeks is it. Enter IT Pro Toronto. A free user group for the Toronto area ironically meeting in Mississauga of like minded (or semi like minded?) people looking for a chance to sit down, check out some technology, meet each other or just get a free dinner... :) Check one out. Register at www.itprotoronto.ca. Meeting is the Third (3rd Tuesday) of every month. Next one is April 15th 2008. The first meeting happened here at 30 Eglinton Ave in Mississauga. Facilities were offered up by Nexient for this session. Swag was there by sponsors (Microsoft Technet was involved in this) as well as some hosting company who's name I will have to put in here. I didn't sleep much that day. The key session tonight was all about Hyper-V. And possibly how to run without a KVM... ;) Well after all, it WAS the first session. Mitch Garvis (Pronounce that as a hard G folks not like that naughty street in Toronto eh?) was running the show as the Master of Ceremonies, or Great Guru or whatever Holy title should be bestowed to him. He was like a little kid drooling and giggling talking about Hyper-V. Ok he was VERY professional in what he did and how he did it, but you could SEE his eyes light up talking about this new virtualization technology in Server 2008. Being that he was a "working WITH Microsoft but not FOR Microsoft" it was a little more fun since he would (and could) crack jokes about those "silly marketing Powerpoint presentations" as he would skim through them for the GOOD stuff. Yep useful information! It's always buried in there somewhere! A few licensing jokes came up as well. (I DID mention there were computer geeks here right? Licensing is HILARIOUS in the right context). "Just hang up the phone and call again if the answer doesn't suit you." an un-named individual stated. (Hey I'm going to protect the innocent here!) There was some break time where people popped their eyes about to see if they knew anybody. Any you know what? People DID! There were those that recognized various MVP's that popped their heads in and certain Microsoft people showed up. It was a chance to shake hands and ogle Smartphones. Even the Friday Funny Guy couldn't hide. Who would have known they published it on Technet?! Then of course there was the traditional "Assaulting of people who asked questions" with swag. Mitch was of course highly critical of 'innappropriate swag'. Only the highest quality swag at his meetings. "A 64 MEG memory key?! Who put this here?! WHO?! I want names!!!" The "offender" was quickly pointed out and the key was used to attack a Friday Funny Guy. That'll teach him to ask SBS 2008 questions at a Hyper-V meeting. But it was a blast. Then there was of course the "Big Swag Giveaway" which yielded an interesting answer. About half the room owned Xbox360s. Half didn't of course. But that does lead towards the fact that half COULD play Rockband or Guitar Hero III. Poke poke. Poke poke. Afterwards there was a "post meeting caffeine blast out" at the Second Cup. Funny thing. It seemed to be an invisible Second Cup as this poor Friday Funny Guy couldn't find it. But all in all the meeting was a blast. Check it out. If you are too far from Waterloo to go to WWITPRO, this is perfect for you. Even if you're not? Come along, it's a blast. 3月17日 Feeding Trouble
But sometimes. Sometimes you shouldn't feed a biter. No matter how much it shouldn't bite you. It might. Case in point. Mr. Trouble. Friday Funny Guy. It seems "somebody" made the mistake of accepting a pile of smelly old boxes from him. BIG mistake. "Hey I'll buy you lunch." BIGGER mistake. You see, Mr. Trouble bites things. Pretty much anything not nailed down is the problem you see. So he's sitting in a small restaurant. A certain un-named representative of a certain un-named Major Corporation is sitting across from him. He is very perplexed why it is taking so long for Mr. Trouble to order. Until of course he sees the problem. "It's not a 'Scratch and Sniff'. You see words. You say words. They give you food." Mr. Buike tries to explain it in the simplest terms possible. Mr. Trouble understands this. This is easy. Talk, food. Talk, food. More talk, more food. "BURGER!" He barks out. A waitress bolts across twelve tables. Seconds later a thick juicy Ground Steak burger appears. Trouble sees this game as interesting. "FRIES!" He barks out again. She flies across the room like 'The Flash' and appears with a plate the size of Mt. Everest covered in Hand cut fries. Itching to see how much fun he can have he tries something different. "ICE CREAM!" She begins her flight across the room when Trouble starts up again. "NO! APPLE PIE!" as she is halfway back with a gallon of Ice Cream. Without dropping a beat she spins about tossing the ice cream to the kitchen like a frisbee catching an Apple Pie thrown back to her. But before he can enter Round 4 of "Tease the Waitress" Mr. Buike pulls out a can of compressed air inverted. "FREEEZE!" He yells as the can of Boiling Cold chemical sprays Mr. Trouble on the fingers. He yelps back. Rodney puts the can away. "No. Bad Friday Funny Guy. No teasing the waitress. Waitress friend." Mr. Trouble learns quickly. Lessons are important. Lesson 1. Don't get caught. So soon lunch begins. Rodney makes a careful note to make sure Trouble is told. "You ordered this. You have to eat everything in front of you." And so he does. The Burger. Every bite, seed and crumb. Finished. Fries. Every last steaming morsel. Gobbled. Apple Pie. Every crumb finished. Nothing spared. Then the tablecloth and the plates. Mr. Trouble begins chomping up the paper tablecloth and tries to gnaw on the plates. Again with the inverted Compressed Air. "Tssssssssss...." He yelps back. "NO! Bad Friday Funny Guy. Only eat the FOOD!" And so Trouble begins eating Rodney's food. "AIGH!" Again the spray can. More yelping. "Only YOUR food." Mr. Trouble continues on Rodney's food. Rodney is quite confused on this. Until he realized something. Mr. Trouble is like a computer. He requires EXPLICIT instructions. Lesson 2. Do not give Mr. Trouble instructions that are open to interpretation. He sprays again. "This is my food. No touch!" pointing vehemently at the mostly eaten plate. "No!" barks Mr. Trouble. "This WAS your food!" letting out a rather rude and violent *burp* as if to enunciate his point. It was true. The plate was cleaned as Rodney stated his point. A little late. With lunch done before it started, Mr. Buike decided to get a beer. He walked up to the bar for a few minutes to order one since the waitress was completely exhausted. Which brings us to Lesson 3. Do not leave Mr. Trouble alone. EVER! It seems the waitress forgot to pick up the menu. A menu with MANY words to order things with. No sooner does Mr. Buike return to the table than he sees a rather large cornucopia of food spread across the table, chairs, floor and one very dis-shevled burnt out waitress. One who is quickly resembling a Harpie. A very unhappy Harpie at that. She stares Rodney down. "We....have...a....policy!" *gasp* *pant* "No pets allowed!" Mr. Buike is concerned until he sees the "surprise" left on the ground. His head drops to the table. Or where the table should have been. It was actually a rather large plate of Mashed Potatoes coated in gravy. He pulls out his partially Jello covered Palm750w. He calls Damir. "Damir. Any chance you have a leash and a collar? No. No. Don't ask. Just hurry. And perhaps a large Uhaul. Yes. I'm going to be making a rather large donation to the food bank. No. No. Please don't ask. I'll supply the beer." Welcome to Co-location - Population You
The icy winds cut into my neck and almost knock me down. It is 1:00am on a Tuesday morning. Prompt 24 access it said on the ad. “Promptly let me freeze to death. Find your body in the morning” is what it should have stated. At 2:00am a little man shows up. I show my piece of ice encrusted ID, mumble the magic phrase and do the secret handshakes. He pauses for a moment. "I'll need to verify the passphrase with my boss". As he quickly bolts inside (where it's warm!) leaving me outside (where it's cold). I wait. And wait. And further still WAIT. Time passes on. I suggest to myself there must be some minor phone issues to slow him down. I begin doing a little dance to try and warm myself up. A passing street bum takes pity on me. He offers me a swig from what's left of his whiskey. I grimace and politely decline. If I have that, the security guard will probably end up learning afterwards the difference between emotionally detached and physically detached. I do however take him up on his kind offer of starting up a roaring campfire from all the coffee cups left behind by previous colo customers. A short while after the guard returns with my ID. "So sorry for the wait." he states in monotone. Unable to move my fingers anymore, I grasp it in my teeth nodding numbly as we pass through the gate. "One moment." he again has me wait. I look beyond to see the why. Security at this site is indeed tight. Off in the distance I can see several automated machine gun turrets manned by semi disreputable sysadmins. I can see various potholes created by landmines that have gone off in the hallway. Large vicious Jack Russell terriers stand at bay ready to tear apart my shoelaces. And the final piece, a large bucket of "Cream of Wheat" sitting on a bit string to dump on anybody trapped within the Malay man catcher. This was some bad ass security. All this for $9.95 a month too. Wonder where they saved? So now time for the trip downstairs to our server. We step past the bails of chicken wire and cross the threshold to the elevator. Into this domain I enter. The four levels of elevator doors close behind me as security presses the "ST" button. "ST?" I mumbled. What could that be? As if hearing my thoughts security answered "Sub Terra. 35 stories below ground." Wow. Bomb proof too! What a bargain. Finally we hit the bottom level. The doors open. The first thing I notice is the glowing red alarm lights and klaxons going off. "Keeps the mice out." again with that psychic guard hearing my thoughts. So we pass through the quad layered elevator doors into the hall. Down the passages, deeper and deeper. Further into the catacombs of the deeper server collocation rooms until we stop. “Room 555, your room sir.” He swipes the security card, turns the double keys, does “Shave and a haircut” on the door and clicks his heels twice. The door opens. The first thing I notice is the smell and the darkness. No. Not true. I lied. The FIRST thing I noticed was the security guard’s boot hitting me in the rear end knocking me into the room. And the door slamming shut with an evil maniacal laugh outside of it. THEN I noticed the smell and the darkness. As my eyes adjust to the light, I see why the package was so low in price. The room is full of skeletons. And a few very long bearded people. The oldest gestures with a crooked arm to what appears to be a large hamster wheel, with wires running off it. “Ruuuuun….” Is all the voice would croak out. “Run to live! Run for power.” The voices chant in unison. “Ruuuuun. Run to live! Run for power.” I stand and pause. A thought passes in front of me as I enter the wheel to run the generators. “Should have opted for the Gold package.” 3月16日 Talking about St. Patrick's Day Quiz - MSN EncartaBoy and with my background I should have known SOME of these answers. But of course I didn't. Shame on me. Irish or not, it makes for some interesting trivia... :) Take a few minutes and try the St. Patrick's Day Quiz - MSN Encarta... 3月8日 Talking about Highway to Powershell
Found this from my comments. How much more honoured can you be when somebody who can actually sing AND play takes your "Highway to PowersHell" lyrics and puts it to the music it needs. This was heard at Heroes Happen {HERE} launch in Norway. If anybody has video of this being sung I at the Norway launch would OH SO greatly appreicate it. THIS version really rocks. Now I just need somebody to sing "Long Road to Redmond" for me. Highway to Powershell 3月6日 Excuses Excuses
"I'm sick." "Why?" "I coughed up a lung and I'm fighting the cat to get it back." "Ok then. Make sure you come in tomorrow." Right. For whatever reason, you didn't do something, couldn't go somewhere, needed to figure something out or just felt like a lazy clout. You could provide a proper logical reason for the situation in reason to occur, so a made up one was required. And the more plausible the better, right? But of course an excuse is just that. So any reason, no matter how implausible should probably be ok. Sure. What could you come up though? What if that party was just a LITTLE overdone and you couldn't figure out any logical way to explain it to the boss in the morning? What if you REALLY got carried off that weekend and no was not any reasonable way to put it down to words. Well then my friend you need, An excuse. They can be ready, handily available, easy to acquire and cheap. And if you're going to get fired for your little booboo. Make a real DOOZY of an excuse. After all, it might make for some interesting ice breaker at your next interview. So picture Mr (or Mrs, Ms, It, AlienBeing) on that particular Monday morning. "Smith. It's 11:00am and you're really late. You better have a darn good reason." "Explain. Please. After all half the morning is gone." "Well let's start off with Friday night..." "Friday night?" "Well yes.... My car broke down on Friday after both rear wheels fell off at once." "Sounds like a stroke of bad luck. Standard Auto membership or tow should have solved that." "So did I until the tow truck showed up. It was fine until the tow truck driver grabbed me tied me to the truck and drove me off. Luckily I escaped." "Uhuh." "Well I know I sounds a bit hard to believe but I've the scrapes to prove it. So I ran into the nearest town to try and get some help and then a large light opened up above me. I thought 'Wow the police!' "Good for you, still doesn't explain this 11:00am visit from you I see..." "Well I'm getting to that. Turns out the light was actually a large fleet of flying saucers." "..*Cough*... you were abducted by aliens? THAT's why you're late?! Oh for. I've heard some stupid...." "No no no. That would have gotten me earlier. They heard my predicament and were quite kind to help out. You those aliens get a really bad rap for abducting humans? In fact they were the most gracio...." "I don't care about your visit with the Aliens or exploding car tires or horny Tow truck drivers... WHY ARE YOU LATE?!" "Well I was GETTING to that. That was Friday night. They picked me up and were going to drop me off at home when they hit a small bump in the space time continuum. We speed off and took a dive into false logic, got wrapped into a plot twist while spinning a new thought into bright idea." "The partially dried jelly all over your shirt and pants? The sneakers hanging out of your pants? The bra wrapped about your head?!" "Well yes, it was a bump. A big one. And we had to grab some coffee and donuts at Saturn on the way in." "But the BRA?!?!" "Oh those cushion the shock of entering Earth's atmosphere or so I am told. I don't space travel on a regular basis so I wouldn't really understand any of this. ZsiTrel is more of an expert in that area." "...ZsiTrel?" "The leader of the aliens sir. He/It was the one who dropped me off at reception this morning." Steam is pouring from the boss' neck at this point. "Look. I have one question. Just answer this honestly. Ok?" "... Mmmmm ... ok..." "What did you get Friday night, how much does it cost.... And where can I get it?" 3月4日 Maura Mapes LIVE!
Wow! Apparently my little sister CAN sing! Whoa! *SMACK* Yeah that was coming. Check it out! Long Road to RedmondSung along to Long Road to Ruin - by the Foo Fighters. Excellent song AND album. BUY IT! My apologies to BOTH Microsoft and the Foo Fighters for my HORRID lyrical skills. I know. "Don't quit your day job... :) " Long Road to Redmond There's a place that calls to me Maybe this time will Long Road to Redmond, not givin' up Let's say we take a chance A challenge to not back down. My hopeless reason Long road to Redmond no end in sight Long Road to Redmond, not givin' up Each interview that came and fell Hey now, let me pay my dues Long road to Redmond no end in sight Long road to Redmond no end in sight Long Road to Redmond, not givin' up |
|
|
