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11月25日 Sean and Cam’s Excellent Techdays Adventures – Part 2
The Bogus Journey into Technology! DUDE! Server Bells
Oh Great. Jingle Bells is all ruined. Darn Friday Funny Guy! http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/11/Server_Bells-162287.html Sing along – if you can :) Rushing down the hall, Warning Bells, Funny Smells The backup didn't run, And soon the sparks flew out Warning Bells, Funny Smells AGAIN! Warning Bells, Funny Smells AIGH! http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/11/Server_Bells-162287.html 11月24日 Oh Kitty TreeIt’s time to get into that Christmas spirit, cleaning up broken ornaments and dealing with a cat. http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/11/Oh_Kitty_Tree-161943.html Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree 11月21日 I Saw Bill Gates Dressing Santa Claushttp://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/11/I_Saw_Bill_Gates_Dressing_Santa_Claus-161138.html Oooooo ooooooo….. Somebody’s gonna get coal this year! I Saw Bill Gates Dressing Santa Claus I saw Bill Gates dressing Santa Claus http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/11/I_Saw_Bill_Gates_Dressing_Santa_Claus-161138.html 11月18日 Slushie the Snowman – Podcast versionA little nonsense for Christmas Caution. Involves a Melted Snowman. :) http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/11/Slushie_the_Snowman-159942.html Slushie the snowman http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/11/Slushie_the_Snowman-159942.html 11月16日 the Twelve Days of Christmas for Microsofthttp://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/11/Microsoft_Twelve_Days_of_Christmas-159787.html Dedicated to Steve Ballmer and his fine crew http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/11/Microsoft_Twelve_Days_of_Christmas-159787.html Rudolph the BBQ’d ReindeerA little silliness and madness for Christmas Not for the little ones. Involves a slightly cooked Reindeer :) http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/11/Rudolph_the_BBQs_Reindeer-159700.html Sorry Rudolph, guess I'm getting coal :) You know Garlic and Caymen and Spicy and Honey Then how the reindeer loved him *URP* 11月6日 The Attack of the Vicious Unstoppable Rampaging Celtic Auditors“So where we off to next, 7th floor?” The cleaning staff were having a normal uneventful night. A few tissues here, wipe a desk there. The normal kind of Wednesday night you would expect. “Yup. 7th floor. Woohoo. Maybe we’ll have to empty a trash can. Yep excitement whoa.” And so, rolling into the elevator carts at hand they went in. “Press the button with your foot this time, let’s do something exciting. I’ll bet ya Ten bucks you can’t do it.” Yes truly an exciting night of daring “button pressing with toes” contests. The button was pressed, the ten spot was paid and the elevator hummed into a yawning lulling action. A slight bump and three point nine seconds later, the 7th floor was entered. *Ding* The doors opened revealing the sounds of Hell itself unleashed. Creaking sounds of walls giving way met their ears. Smoke. Bodies everywhere. Some explosions still going off in the background. Fire alarms ringing through the background. "What the @!?@#?!@” they looked each in Unison. And slowly towards them. One body moved. Crawling with it’s slow inching efforts. Clutching a book. it’s gnarled hand, that of a Network Administrator reached up. Pulling them down to meet its ragged remains. “Take this….” the poor thing gasped “….war…warn others…..Let our fate… not….be…….forgotten.” He pressed a bloody burnt book into their hands. They looked at each other incredulous. “What happened? What caused all this?” they wondered out loud. The Network Administrator looked up with dying eyes. A final single gasp escaped his lips. Almost barely above a whisper. “Auditors….” it gasped “Auditors!” as life left him to grab a coffee somewhere else. They looked at ruined book in their hands. The remains of a manager’s daytimer. Carefully they opened it. “A diary…” one of them gasped. They began to read. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 8:30. Checked in with Susie from accounting. Submitted expenses. Had coffee and shared donuts with VP of Procurements. 8:45. Contacted supplier regarding new Cisco Catalyst switches and routers. Due to receive new hardware. Sent e-mail to supervisor confirming shipment underway 8:49. Sounds of rumbling and drums coming from the elevator. Clanging of metal. Must be a late Hallowe’en party. Note to self. Get costume for staff party later on this week. 8:56. Yelling. Screaming. Sounds of swordplay. I peek through the crack in the door. I see CEO’s being lined up against a wall in reception against their will. Sabers pointed at them by Gentlemen carrying black suitcases. “AUDITORS!” The President shouts. “How dare you!” His Blackberry is yanked from him in response and smashed to bits. He breaks down in tears. The rest quickly fall in line. 9:27. I have managed to escape the initial onslaught by crawling inside the wiring channels in the server room and hiding within the ductwork. I can hear screaming and yelling from various divisions. I am helpless to provide assistance. What can I do? I am a lowly Network Administrator and they are armed with subpoenas. I am no match for them. 10:33. They have dragged the entire staff of the call centre into a small room. They are beating on the walls with a Smiley Face found on a desk. “Tell us the truth! Tell us what we want to know! We may go lightly on you. There was yelling and screaming from the Call Centre staff. And then an odd silence. 10:48. Found an old Jelly Baby in the ductwork. Managed to provide some sustenance with the lack of an available coffee or water break. I can sounds of fires in the background. 11:02. I have managed to evade the captors thus far. I am balanced barely above an exhaust vent in the lunch room. I see my fellow members from I.T. cornered by a fat one with a large wiring fish being swung about. “You will give us what we want or the coffee machine gets it!” I hear many screams from my fellow staff members. Bravado takes over the Development team as they leap towards the auditor. They almost get him until he whips out their hard copies of the source code and lights it ablaze. They scrambled to recover the burning remains. The Systems Administrator passes out as the Starbucks machine is kicked into nothingness. I pass out from the sight of a destroyed coffee machine. 11:57. I awake and can hear many of the support staff gathering together forming a resistance movement. Sounds and singing of “We Shall Prevail” echo throughout the duct work. I see bloodied remains of one auditors clutching a file folder in the middle of a hallway. A sense of Bravado fills me. 12:40. The hour of the Administrative Assistants. Armed with handsets, bad attitude and Platinum Visa Cards they marched upon the Auditors. I could smell the fear in the eyes of the Auditors. The tide would turn I thought. 13:21. Many of the Auditors littered the office with Cisco handsets embedded in the rear ends screaming in agony or sitting down in Herman Muller chairs crying over ridiculously overcharged expenses on Platinum Visas. The tide is beginning to turn. 13:22. Phones ring throughout the office. An emergency PTA meeting has been called and 99% of the Administrative Staff leave for their children. A cry roars up from the Auditors sensing a change in the tide. The remaining staff moan in terror. I gasp in shock. 13:39. R&D Division puts up a fierce battle. With the remaining I.T. Staff, some Co-op students, A single CEO and VP and Johnny the Mail Clerk a final stand is held. I hear gunfire. Swords. Screaming and Explosions. 15:35. All is quiet. I dare not look. Some ruffling of papers. 16:00. I hear voices. “Looks like they checked out. Nothing bad. Pretty much in order. I particularly liked their Data Centre” another voice “Yes I expected worse. I wish they hadn’t put up such a fight. I was feeling pretty flexible today. That receptionist was giving me the eye. Wish I hadn’t knocked her unconscious with that copy of the Yellow Pages from Metro” a Third voice. “Really? I felt pretty bad about the Starbucks machine myself.” 16:01. Auditors enter elevator. *Ding* is heard from far away. Perhaps a better life. 16:38. I can barely see. Dirty ducts. Lack of Lunch. Poisoned Jelly Baby. My body is wracked with pain. I don’t know how much more I can take… tell me wife I love her and my children. And to make sure drive P: is erased with Military Encryption…… 17:23. Voices again. Did they return to finish the remaining off. I can barely see, hear, speak. I fall. Pain greets me. The duct collapses. I lay about on the ground passed out. 17:24. Must bring this to the voices…… the Cleaning staff…. must tell…. Let others be spared our fate. Paperwork. Diligence. Industry Standards. ITIL. MOF. W-5. *ack* … *gasp*…..Dragging my body…. Good bye world. Tell Steve Ballmer I love him. I bought stock in Commodore. I once had sex with an APPLE II… *** gasssssp *** ApPrEhEnSiOn!“Tickets! I need see your tickets!” The voice pierced the back of her head. A long and tired day. Finally a little snooze. Her body so desperately cried out. The rumbling and rattling of the train was suspiciously soothing. “Tickets.” the voice would not go away. Make it go away. Awake for twenty eight hours. Enough was enough. “Sleep!” her body shrieked. But the voice hammered on. “Miss, I need to see your ticket. You need si…” the train inspector was doing his rounds. Neat, prim proper. He might have been good in bed. On another day. But not today. He was pulling out a small folder. She moaned half awake. Brain running on instinct. Reaching into the pocket for the ticket she had paid for less than the ten minutes before. Comfortably reaching. Shut him up. Sleep was calling. Back to sleep in a minute. Her hand pulling at the ticket. The ticket would not respond. Reaching for it in another pocket. Still no response. Frantically digging into pockets and ripping into sub locations. The Ticket. Dammit! Asshole here was going to WRITE her a ticket for not having a ticket. No ticket. Not even a ripped ticket. And the train Nazi interrogating her. “You need to sign….” It stated unrelenting waving the sheet in front of her. “I…. I just BOUGHT it…. I don’t get it…. “ “You need to sign thi……” It repeated methodically and mechanically. Thoughts ripped through her head. From the booth to the train. What happened? A small fry. No she had it then. A newspaper. No no. Of course not. Definitely then. Waiting on the ramp? What? No. Can’t be. Carried it proudly. and then… realization… and relief. “The Toilet!” she exclaimed with both joy and embarrassment. The Voice nodded slowly. “Of course you left it there… Now if you could just sig……..” it stated unrelenting. She nodded acceptingly. A quick run to the toilet. It must have been sitting on the stainless steel polished stink (Did she think that?) beside the bowl of blue oblivion. Opening the door. Joy. Shock. Relief. Embarrassment. Sitting on the sink. The ticket. Reaching quickly to grab it, a bump. “OUCH!” her head yelled banging the door and the sink. “OUCH!” shriek the poor ticket diving for the safest cover it could think of. The soothing blue water of the stainless steel pool. “Hello!” shouted up the blue puddle to the ticket. “Hello! Thank you good friend!” responded the oh so happy ticket willing to be free of more bumps. “Oh No you don’t you *!@^$#&*(#” shouted the hapless ticket owner diving into the blueness to get the ticket out. “HEY!” Yelped up the toilet pedal being stepped on by the owner foot who by now realized the awkward storage position of the toilet flush pedal to people bumping into train bathroom doors. “$%!@@” cursed the ticket owner reaching through urine, blue liquid and feces to retrieve the ticket.” But too late. Gone. It was gone. Taken by Satan himself. Time to return to the train Nazi. Looking like Hell. Smelling like crap and pretty blue liquid. and Sweat…. sweat too. She stared down the train Nazi. “So what’s the fine asshole?!?!?!” she spat out. The train Nazi, shocked and dismayed…. returned a simple look. Both of disbelief and humor. “Sorry….” He stammered, “you’re our 1,000,000th rider. I was about to say you’ve just won a month of free rides. The ticket was merely a formality….” 11月2日 Techdays_CA 2008 – A Direct Knowledge UplinkWhere do you start with Techdays Canada 2008? The first of its kind here in Canada. A day culling together the best of brightest of the industry for two days to pass knowledge and training onto others. Two (as would be referred by two characters from fiction) “MOST INTENSE” days of knowledge. All within reaching distance of average Canadians without any need to cross the border. A truly power packed 48 hours to network with peers, maybe get a different view on things and the industry. Over $1,000 to walk away with in grab bags alone. Just WHERE do you start to begin describing Techdays? A simple blog post would be insulting. But I shall endeavor to bring forth what it was to me. An IT Pro with aspirations to be a developer. No matter what my friends think. :) Let’s start with the mood I was in. EXCITED. So excited that I was on that very first train out of Oshawa to get onto the TTC to IT’S very first subway to be there as early as I could be. So excited I wrote a song about Techdays. So excited I made videos to try and convey that feeling. That technology, with all of its bits and bytes, the electronic circuits, the code, the wires and the logic. Wrapped up with people. That it’s just well…. *K001* So now you can see the direction I’m coming from. So let me, in my own simple and poorly worded way, try to convey Techdays Canada 2008 to YOU. Over 35+ tracks covering five different key areas of the industry. Five separate views of the industry in specializations. All level 200+ training. There was a something for EVERYBODY. What did I dive into? For $250 I decided to try a little of everything. There were infrastructure tracks that touched upon my new job, There were tracks involving Virtualization, Infrastructure that intensely caught my interesting. But even a track on Development on the Windows Mobile phones. Something that caught my interest. What was I to do, but take it. I was hooked by the Developers. Whether it was to be understood by me or not, a CHANCE to just sit and listen Level 200+ developer instruction. Maybe walk away with that one *teeny* piece of knowledge or understanding I never had before. So what really happened? What is the truth behind those doors? I’ll try to summarize. It may be difficult in one posting, for it was an invigoration two days! Rather than just take “Virtualization” or any one track, I treated this as a chance to try a little of everything. Things I was interested in. I mean Techdays Canada 2008 was all about learning. Not rehashing what you already knew right? So I dived into some Infrastructure sessions involving Clustering, Migrating Exchange 2007, Powershell and the managing network infrastructures with the new Group Policy features of Windows Server 2008. I slipped into a little more on Virtualization using Application Virtualization and getting into Security of Virtual environments as well as a nicely flavoured layer of SCVMM 2008. And topped it off with a heavy dose of DEV on Windows Mobile. All in all? One tasty sandwich. To try and summarize all the information pumped into my brain would be an insult to the presenters. But ALL of this information I can not only use but IMPLEMENT in my present job. And then of course did I mention the people? Oh yes. Between sessions! People of all types hanging out, chatting freely. No arguments about “This sucks” or “That sucks” but meaningful open discussions about whatever struck them as interesting. Lunchtime! Devs and ITPRos sitting together at tables. With no slinging of punches and no laptops being thrown. MAC AND PC Users in the Same ROOM! With no HATE! It was almost a religious experience. So what comments do I have to the people who created this event. Only one. “I can’t wait for next year. MORE! MORE! MORE!” ----------- At the end of it all. I was tired. Enthused. Invigorated. Burned out. Excited. Dead on my feet. And happy. An IT Pro Begins the Unholy (or so I have been told) Crossover to DEVAs I type this. I hear friends, co-workers and those I aspire to, all say the same thing. “You cannot do this. You must not. It is *WRONG*. The two fields are so disparately separate. They are ‘The Dark Side’”. The Dark Side. Not an accurate analogy. The specializations of being an IT Pro and being a DEV are different on many levels. It is extremely rare to see IT Pros listening to DEV seminars on Silverlight, or to find a DEV learning how to Migrate Exchange 2007. But it does not mean they cannot. DEV is in my blood on some levels. It is the logic that flows through my head that allows me to out think others in my field in troubleshooting. That logic burns in my system and desires to find it’s creative hooks. As an IT Pro, the creative half of that DEV is carving out www.landofsilly.com, landofsilly.mypodcast.com. The raw bits are there. But I am an IT Pro. This is *Wrong* But I DO prefer the more accurate term I have earned. IT Generalist. Jack of all trades. And since there is nothing written in the books about an “IT Generalist” mixing some DEV under his sleeves, I should be ok. Right? I don’t see the skies opening up above me with lightening striking down to separate my life-force. It must be safe. And why not try to cross into DEV. It is where I started my path many Many MANY ages ago. Teaching myself, Waterloo Structured Basic, low level machine code. Learning 3 month courses on C in 30 minutes. Hacking about with anything I could touch. Yes. It’s in my blood. Much like Anakin Skywalker. But is it truly ‘The Dark Side’. Well today at Techdays Canada 2008 I decided to find out for myself. After 7 sessions between Virtualization and Infrastructure; I decided I had to at least put my toes in the pool. Using Visual Studio 2008 with Windows Mobile. In all fairness, after crossing into that center, coated in a foreboding blue. It *WAS* dark inside. Very little lighting lit with the exception of the screens. Perhaps this was the *Dark Side*. Maybe they had the cookies I had been told of. And so I begin to walk …. “The Path” The room began to fill slowly but surely, packing in tightly. And for creatures of the “Dark Side” they were remarkably polite. No shoving or kicking. No dis-membered corpses laying about. Certainly nothing like I’d been told. May this side wasn’t so bad. And then the session began. Mark Artega, Windows Mobile Solution Specialist (A title he admittedly made up) began the presentation on how to use Visual Studio 2008 to deploy and develop applications on Windows Mobile. Now here’s where I knew, I was going down the correct path. A TRUE IT Pro would have gone to the back of the room and immediately started tested out cables or started into a good game of solitaire. I couldn’t pull myself away from the screen. THIS was interesting. THIS was catching my attention. Some I understood on a very small level. Some I had no clue (a lot to be honest). But I was NOT bored. I was fascinated. He began to delve into different modules and classes, libraries, SDK’s available for working on the Windows Mobile devices. Of Communities and forums. Of the raw Absolute UNMITIGATING POWER THE DARK SIDE HELD! (Well he didn’t do that last line…. but I thought it was a nice touch) But I did discover one thing. Although I presently do NOT understand the new C languages, the structure of development or any of the SDK’s. I did discover one thing of importance. That DEV is in my blood. It is within my legacy. I cannot turn back from the path of an IT Pro. It is what I am, and in many ways will always be. But I shall embrace the DEV and their ways, little by little. I shall endeavour to learn more of C++, Powershell, and how to make it look like I’m working 12 hours when I’m done in 12 minutes :) For I am Sean P. Kearney. I am not and IT Pro I am not a DEV I am a PC Dead Cisco Sketch – Im an IT Pro SongDead Cisco Sketch - I'm an IT PRo Songhttp://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/11/Dead_Cisco_Sketch_Im_and_IT_PRo_Song-155931.html Special Thanks to Monty Python, for the original LumberJack Song for without this would never have happened. "'Ello Hack?" "Who you calling a Hack." "Sorry, me lungs are full of sheetrock. Look Never mind that, I wish to register a complaint" "Sorry we're closed for upgrades..." "Never mind tryin that. I would like to complain about this 24 port switch, I purchased from this very shop nary a half an hour ago" "ahhh yes, the uh... the Uh Cisco Catalyst. What's uh... What's wrong with it?" "I'll tell you whats wrong with it. It's completely dead! That's whats wrong with it" "No it's not. It's in power saving mode. Beautiful switch the Cisco. Pretty lights." "The lights have nothing to do with it. It's completely dead!" "It's not dead, it's in power saving mode. Pretty lights eh?" "Right then. If it was working fine, why did it do nothing when it got back to my site" "The Cisco normally operates in a low power mode on startup. Most likely a delayed startup to preseve the capacitors. Beautiful design. Such a nice colour" "Now explain to me then, why when I arrived on site did it split apart and fall into two halves on the floor..." "The cisco Catalyst self disassembles for easy storage. Lovely switch. What a nice name." "Now let me explain something to you. I found out the only reason this switch was in one piece when I got it... Was that it had been nailed together." "Well of COURSE it was nailed together! Look if I hadn't nailed those two halves together, the cpu processing power would have overcame the case, bent it in half with the heat and you'd have seen it launch into the air like a rocket... *WHOOSH*" "Look you, this switch wouldn't *WHOOSH* or *HUM* or *GROANT* if you shoved a stick of dynamite inside of it. It's completely dead." "It's not dead. It's in power saving mod...." "It's NOT is power saving mode, it's dead. Kaput. Useless. A doorstop. Bereft of power and functionality, it's become another "Brick in the Wall". If you hadn't nailed those two halves together, it would have become Book Ends on Steve Ballmers bookshelf. THIS is a DEAD SWITCH!" "....Hmmm... well I guess I better replace it then..." "Thank you." moment later "Uh sir, I just checked the back room and we're right out of Cisco Catalysts." "I see..." "I could get you an Arcnnet passive hub..." "Pray does it crosslink to a Cat 7 network?"!" "Not Really." "Well it's only a @#%#@$@#$ Replacement!!!" ------------------- The IT PRo Song I never wanted to do this job in the first place. I always wanted to be.... to be.... AN IT PRO! Piano Music (guy in the background, screaming and fading out. "Get Back here you. I'll get you for this. Slimy little" Swinging from light fixture to light fixture As I sing OHhhhhh I'm an IT PRO and I'm OK He's an IT PRO and HE'S OK I SETUP RAIDS and BACKUPS TOO He's Set's up Raids and Backups too He's an IT PRO and HE'S OK I terminate and demarcate, He terminates and demarcates, He's an IT PRO and HE'S OK I fix the mail, And servers too He'll fix the mail, and servers too "I guess nobody wants to go Hooters then..." In Unison "HOOTERS!" klump klump klump I'm (He's) an IT Pro and I'm (He's) ok |
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