Sean's profileEnergized About Technolo...PhotosBlogLists Tools Help

Blog


    October 29

    "Dude! What's in that big red Bag?"

    Trivia.

    The Friday Funny Guy does not go into Techdays Canada 2008 unarmed.

    What did I bring?

    Dell Xps laptop w/ 17" display.
    Panasonic MiniDV Palmcorder
    Nikon S51C
    Palm750w
    Zune
    Apex USB Microphone
    Microsoft Bluetooth Presenter Mouse 8000
    6" portable Mini tripod
    14 pens
    Plantronics Bluetooth Headset
    One rubber keyboard
    Two t-shirts (one Technet, one MSDN)
    Kensington Universal Power Adapter
    Microsoft usb Thumbprint Scanner
    Various cables and connectors
    And a Mullet

    "But dude! Why such a large and unwieldly bag for carrying stuff?"

    The "excitement kit". One huge hunker box of "Tech Crunchies packed to the point of imploding internally with goodies.

    Gotta fit that SOMEWHERE!

    And of course a little extra space to sneak in muffins from the Continental Breakfast.

    After all, I might get hungry on the way back home.

    Techdays Canada 2008!
    Toronto!

    These next two days are gonna ROCK! YEAH!

    October 27

    The Fellowship of the Project

    The Fellowship of the Project.

    And so it was told in the lateness of the year of a great tale. A gathering of the many to fight a massive life sucking evil born of such despair it would tear the very souls near it to nothingness.

    An evil of such pure magnitude it would suck resources and time into nothingness.

    Yes. the "One Project".

    For the many spoke of the "One Project" with both great reverance and great fear at the same time.

    Small children were shushed away into corners by parents when words of the "One Project" were spake lest they terrify the little ones. It was not to be spoken of lightly.

    The "One Project" was a denseness of nothingness where resources, people, money and hopes would go. Yet nothing would ever return.

    But somehow, with it's strong evil powers, the "One Project" would convince upper management of it's "Long Term Returns" of shiny trinkets and {Powers} yet unseen. The "One Project" would continue to be perceived by many smart and intelligent people as a "Wonder".

    Yet the little people of "the Stairs" knew better. They knew to avoid the temptations of the "One Project". A rhyme they spoke to remember of it's evils.

    Seven projects for subcommittees their many days
    Three projects for divisional managers in their simple ways
    Nine projects to tie up researchers til their hairs turned grey
    Yet the power of the "One Project"
    "One Project" to rule them all
    "One Project" to tie them up
    "One Project" to cull them all in the darkness
    and ruin them.

    The people of "the Stairs" used this rhyme to resist the soothing temptations of the "One Project".

    One day, a young intern "Dodo" found, unbeknownst to the Dark Lord running the "One Project"; the documents proving mis-managed and badly diverted funds to continue the lifeforce to the "One Project". It was dropped by a minion of the Dark Lord. A former intern known as Molly.

    Along with an untouched Wise Manager and Pointy Eared assistant, a quest was begun to destroy the funding of the "One Project". Thus in doing so, it's great overwhelming power would be destroyed bring forth joy to the people of the company, including the Infrastructure and support staff including developers.

    And so they began. A long and dangerous quest to the third floor. To the auditing department. The great wizards of accounting would be able to crush the "One Project" with a financial audit.

    But perils were laid about to entrap our heroes. Disabled elevators, committee meetings, birthday parties and managers pulling them to the side. Great battles occurred as they battled the minions of the mail department attempting to grab their documents and reroute them. Many clerks attempting to pull them to the great shredder thus destroying the evidence. Yes the power of the "One Project" was strong indeed.

    All the while upon their quest, the former intern Molly sought to find them and recover her documents for the Dark Lord. "My Precious Dockets, I needs my Precious Dockets" she would drool upon the floor.

    All day, and all afternoon they plodded through their quest to reach the Wizards of Financing. All this time the eye of the Dark Lord running the "One Project" was upon them. Bribes and Schwag were sent their way to seduce the "Fellowship" as they became to be known. The Heroes of the office battling to save the many from the "One Project" even at a potential loss of long term benefits and abilities to wear t-shirts on Casual Friday. The Fellowship showed resolve.

    All seemed lost at one point as a team of Consulants bore down upon the Fellowship trying to get them to do a survey on the "Potential LongTerm Resolutionary Effects of Project Integration". And in truth they would have failed had it not been for the Wise Manager sacrificing himself to save the quest by pulling out a Plantinum Master Card and offering a round to the Consultants. His loss would not be forgotten.

    The remaining crew of the quest carried on. Through the farms of cubes, past cupcake sessions, pushing through a massive game of office charades. Until they reached it. The final path to the Wizards of finance.

    "The Stairwell to the Doom of the One Project" muttered Dodo. They knew their quest was almost at at end.

    Slowly, proudly; they strode up the stairs carrying the financial records of the "One Project". But the power of the "One Project" became to overtake Dodo near the end. Thinking of how much power these documents held and how much he could yield it as leverage for greater pay and rewards. An evil grin began to cross our heroes face as he kicked the Point Eared assistant down the stairs crying out at the top of his lungs. "I has them! I has the precious! The Power and rewards will be mine!"

    And so the power of the "One Project" would have overcome our hero. Had it not been for poor Molly. Ruined and Poisoned by the powers of the "One Project" and its false hopes, she had been following the heroes all through their quest. Hiding quietly.

    A short battle between our hero and Molly ensued for the control of the Financial Documents of the "One Project" until she kicked poor Dodo in a most incorrect location causing him to drop them. She snatched them off the ground running for the nearest exit. "My Precious!" she cried. "I haves my Precious again!" bolting through the doors, to apparent freedom.

    And directly into the waiting hands of officials of the Law, guardians of peace and the final line of protectorate against the mismanaged power of the "One Project".

    And so, being dragged off to a mental Institution screaming "My Precious" poor Molly, quietly lost her mind having been ruined for life by the evil powers of the "One Project". The Financial Documents were examined by the Wizards of Financial Auditing. The Many involved in the "One Project" who led the blind and helpess were quickly severed by Human Resources. With no one to drive it, no one to provide financing, the power of the "One Project" soon faded into nothingness.



    I'm going to work and it's Monday! YEEEHAAAA!

    Now I can already see the look of puzzlement by the title. Monday, Work and a "Happy phrase" all in the same line.

    Well it's true.

    Today I start a new job. I'm officially a Network Administrator at a new company. I've spent the past 8 1/2 years working in the field with some great people. It was an interesting and challenging time too.

    But now. A BIG NETWORK and BIG CHALLENGES! Complexitie in Network Infrastructure that would make Albert Einstein pull the last of his hair out! Political and Corporate nightmares that would send most into a whiskey induced coma.

    Some people would bolt off in terror at this concept. Some would sell their own grandmothers to a Knitting Sweatshop to avoid it.

    But me? I'm actually DYING to get into it!

    Am I crazy?

    Am I out of my mind?

    No folks.

    I am an IT Pro. And I wouldn't trade this job for the world.

    October 26

    Completely Phony Parody! “Ballmer Vs. Kearney”

    This is not a poke at Steve Ballmer on any level.

    This is a poke at a title of a Blog post.  Nothing more.

    Besides I’m certain Mr. Ballmer has a really GREAT sense of humor and would NEVER want to quash out a helpless Friday Funny Guy right?

    Song – An ITPro – AC/DC TNT Parody

    I’m quite pleased.  It didn’t completely suck :)

    http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/10/An_IT_Pro_Yeah_the_right_Rockin_one-153993.html

    An IT Pro

    Sing it to AC/DC's TNT. Karaoke Version from www.karaoke-version.com

    My apologies to your ears!

    An IT Pro

    HACK HACK HACK
    HACK HACK HACK
    HACK HACK HACK
    HACK HACK HACK
    HACK HACK HACK

    See me ride up in my Prius.
    Pretty color green
    Loaded up all pure brains
    I take in the scene

    Problems to the left of me
    and nightmares to the right
    I blink and quickly they go away
    Through the night

    Cuz I am an IT Pro
    I eat Dynamite
    An IT PRO
    Bugs in my site
    An IT Pro
    Watch them hackers pray
    An IT Pro
    I blow them away!

    I'm dirty, I'm nasty
    I can smell real bad
    I work all night long
    I knock out your problems
    without a sound

    Lock up your passwords
    Lock up your food
    Lock up the Jolt
    Run away from this dude
    Your server has gone and crashed
    Here's your Superman.

    Cuz I a m an IT Pro
    I eat Dynamite
    An IT PRO
    Bugs in my site
    An IT Pro
    Watch them hackers pray
    An IT Pro
    I blow them away!

    Big big big big big big ---- SOLO!!!

    An IT PRO
    HACk HACk HACK
    An IT PRO
    HACK HACK HACK
    An IT PRO
    HACk HACk HACK
    An IT PRO
    HACK HACK HACK
    AN IT PRO
    I eat Dynamite
    AN IT PRO
    Bugs in my site
    AN IT PRO
    Watch them hackers pray
    AN IT PRO
    I blow them away!
    Wildly exploding guitar and strong smell of OZONE... *POP*

    http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/10/An_IT_Pro_Yeah_the_right_Rockin_one-153993.html

    Advisory from Canadian Food Inspection Agency

    Please note.  This is not a false link.  This is directly from the Government of Canada.

    http://www.inspection.gc.ca/english/corpaffr/recarapp/2008/20081008e.shtml

    Above is the source link.  This is the content

    Consumer Advisory

    Sherwood Brands Pirate's Gold Milk Chocolate Coins may be Contaminated with Melamine

    Melamine - Certain products from China - 2008
    Main Page | Report on Testing Results

    OTTAWA, October 8, 2008 – The Canadian Food Inspection Agency (CFIA) is warning the public not to consume, distribute, or sell the Sherwood Brands Pirate’s Gold Milk Chocolate Coins described below. This product is being recalled due to positive test results for melamine conducted by the CFIA.

    The affected product, Sherwood Brands Pirate’s Gold Milk Chocolate Coins, is sold in 840g containers containing 240 pieces per container bearing UPC 0 36077 11240 7 and lot code 1928S1.

    This product is sold nationally through Costco stores and may also have been sold in bulk packages or as individual pieces at various dollar and bulk stores across Canada.

    If the original product identity and UPC code is not evident, consumers are advised to check with their retailer to determine if they have the affected product.

    Retailers and distributors are advised to stop distributing Sherwood Brands Pirate’s Gold Milk Chocolate Coins and to initiate a voluntary recall of this product. The CFIA will be working with the importers to remove the affected product from the marketplace.

    There have been no reported illnesses associated with the consumption of these products.

    Although the health risk associated with these products is considered to be low, the advisory is being issued as a result of the Government of Canada’s ongoing investigation into milk and milk-derived products sourced in/from China that may have been distributed in Canada.

    The CFIA is monitoring the effectiveness of the recall.

    Melamine is a chemical compound used in a number of commercial and industrial applications.  Canada does not allow its use as a food ingredient.

    For more information consumers and industry can call the CFIA at 1-800-442-2342 / TTY 1-800-465-7735 (8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. Eastern time, Monday to Friday).

    For information on receiving recalls by e-mail, or for other food safety facts, visit our web site at www.inspection.gc.ca.

    -30-

    Media Inquiries:

    Garfield Balsom
    Canadian Food Inspection Agency
    Office of Food Safety and Recall
    613-760-4232

    Jean-Louis Michaud
    Canadian Food Inspection Agency
    Operations Co-ordination – Quebec Area
    1-866-806-4115

    Hey Hyper-V

    Original Song by the "Gin Blossoms" - "Hey Jealousy"

    Karaoke Version from www.karaoke-version.com

    http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/10/Hey_HyperV-153882.html

     

    Double inspiration from Hyper-V and listening to the Twitters of BillGatesZune :)

    Hey Hyper-V

    I asked the boss if it's alright
    To let the system crash tonight
    It's running an 8 bit application
    That's from twenty years ago

    It's running on an old IBM XT
    Under a giant rat's nest tree
    It's based on Arcnet and Novell 2
    Now just what we gonna do?

    I found a solution that is sound
    The cost is low and I have found
    A way to carry the past into the light of day

    With Hyper-V
    Yeah Hyper-V
    Oh Hyper-V
    Yeah Hyper-V

    Turn the many into one
    Can be a great big bowl of fun
    A more efficient use of power
    And resources we can have

    Implementing is not a chore
    A role to add not much more
    Creating machines is such a breeze
    Won't bring you to your knees

    I found a solution that is sound
    The cost is low and I have found
    A way to carry the past into the light of day

    "Virtualization can take place in many forms and offers many wonderful solutions in to many people. You can use it simply to consolidate hardware, you can use it to reduce power costs, or simply as a efficient disaster recovery plan. An added hidden bonus is environmental, less power and hardware used is a benefit to the environment."

    I found a solution that is sound
    The cost is low and I have found
    A way to carry the past into the light of day

    With Hyper-V
    Yeah Hyper-V
    Oh Hyper-V
    Yeah Hyper-V

    Get Virtual Now
    Get Virtual Now
    Get Virtual Now
    Virtualize Now

    Get Virtual Now
    Get Virtual Now
    Get Virtual Now
    Virtualize Now

    I found a solution that is sound
    The cost is low and I have found
    A way to carry the past into the light of day

    With Hyper-V
    Yeah Hyper-V
    Oh Hyper-V
    Yeah Hyper-V

    A chance to save future in your hands
    Spreading throughout the many lands

    http://landofsilly.mypodcast.com/2008/10/Hey_HyperV-153882.html

    October 25

    A Charlie Brown Hallowe’en Revisited

    The Charlie Brown Hallowe'en revisited

    I must say, it's a good time to re-examine my old friend Mr. Charles Brown.  I'm sitting here watching the Hallowe'en special.

    Let's start with Lucy.  Present day, Lucy would probably have been sent off to a psychiatrist for his "misguided" anger issues.  Potentially her parents may have found

    themselves saddled with a lawsuit.   For all the tricks she played on Mr. Brown causing a series of concussions and potential brain damage.

    And they would have had an awful lot of ammunition to fight.

    Let's face it, Charlie Brown was severely brain damaged as a result of Lucy and her "Football game".   Oh sure.  "It's all his fault. They're only kids."

    Well I'm certain the first time he bolted towards that football, it was all in good fun.   But at any point did you ever see concern on her face?  Did you ever see good old "Chuck" get a run to the hospital to check for concussion? 

    Yes.  That kid took some severe damage.  Anybody who flies in the air seven foot and lands flat on their back is going to get some hurt.   He had to have at least one concussion

    if not a little brain damage.

    And instead of Lucy showing a little remorse (after all kids make mistakes) he persisted in launching Mr. Brown into the air on repeated occasions.  W"hat a mean and vindictive little wench.

    I'm certain she pulled it off on her brother too.  Or kept slugging him in the back of the head. That would certainly explain her little brother writing letters to invisible pumpkins instead of going door to door for free candy.  That and envisioning a giant floating pumpkin in the sub zeros temperatures of late October and sleeping outside.  WHO LET'S THIS GO ON?!

    Poor old Charlie.  As a result of Lucy and her "harmless little game" instead of chasing after that Hot little Redhead and plopping a big smacker on her lips, he was busy arguing with trees and talking to a dog and bird.  His poor head had taken some severe damage.

    Now of course let's extend it a little further.  Poor Charlie Brown.  His brain was so severely damaged from that little three foot demon Lucy, that on Hallowe'en night he couldn't even see straight to cut TWO HOLES for eyes in his costume.  I suspect that means either some severe eye damage, or he had taken to the sauce to hide his aching pain. 

    And he MUST have taken a lot of damage.  If any other kid, had received a Rock in their bag, it would have gone flying through the window of the house of idiot providing rocks.

    In addition, the parents MUST have been on the sauce.  Modern day, if your kid came home from Hallowe'en with a bag full of Rocks, you would HAVE to have reacted.  I would.

    I'd have been going door to door returning those rocks in force and extracting potato chips "en masse".   Or better yet, a class action lawsuit would have been launched against the families in question involving "singling out my poor brain damaged kid".

    Now let's step over to the parents a little further.  WHO THE #@$#!$ outfits a DOGHOUSE with a single engine capable of flight?  And then bolts their Beagle to the TOP?! 

    Parents who obviously spent one too many days listening to war stories and eating "Magic Brownies".   That's who!

    Now we have poor misguided Sally sitting in a pumpkin patch on Hallowe'en night.  Modern day the police would have been down there arresting her and Linus for "suspicious activities" and "Trespassing" as I'm certain their parents did not own the property that large patch was on.

    And what a spoiled little brat.  Screaming for lawyers and money and restitution! WHO GAVE THIS KID A THESAURUS FOR CHRISTMAS INSTEAD OF A MALIBU BARBIE??!?!

    You know in the 60's, these kids were just "kids".  But in the modern day?  Mr. Schultz's bunch would have been on Ritalyn and a pile of other medications with all of their medical and psychiatric problems.

    Poor poor Charlie Brown.  He never got to benefit from a good lawyer.

    October 23

    Sean and Cam’s Excellent Techdays Adventures (Part 1)

    techdays_canada

    Techdays_ca 2008.  The place for you and me.   Today we get to see a glimpse into the future of two simple computer professionals in their early days before they change the course of history.

    And it’s all thanks to Techdays_ca.

    Here is their story.

    October 20

    "Trouble" at AlignIT

    The rising of the sun, a cool breeze. Patrons begin to enter the doors of Microsoft Canada.

    The smell of fresh coffee and pastries floating through the air. A wonderful way to enter the day.

    Or it was.

    We are on the beginning leg of the AlignIT 2008 tour. And it appears the leg is about to trip.

    Damir has gone through great and detailed pains to ensure the tour does not have ANY problems.

    ANY!

    Checking the grounds he ensures the land mines are all laid out. Excellent. Radioing upstairs security confirms the snipers are all in place.

    The large open pit in front of the doorway is well disguised and full of vicious scorpions and vipers.

    Yes. "Trouble" would not come this way today.

    No way could a hyperactive being such as "Trouble" get in daintily. He wouldn't read the warning signs. He would just *BURST* in.

    "And then BLOOEY!!!" thought Damir, grinning like a little kid. "BLOOEY!!! Muah hah hah ha haaaa!"

    Slowly but surely, the patrons appeared for AlignIT 2008. Cautiously and carefully working their way through the deadly obstacle course.

    And then

    In the distance, high and shrill like a banshee on Rockstar...

    "....i'm using powershell...."

    That voice. That horrid voice. Building a cescendo.

    "...I'm using PowerShell...

    Louder working it's way ominously through the system. Like a Virus. No worse than a virus... Like a dBase application!

    ".I'M USING POWERSHELL."

    The voice came from everywhere yet nowhere at once. At this distance braced for the oncoming (and satisfying *BooM*) or *Crunch* as the Vipers stopped that little pest in his tracks.

    And then .... Nothing.

    Nothing.

    Like the Grinch, Damir sat and puzzled.

    "No Boom." he sat there scratching his head. "No bump, no thunk. Odd."

    And then, much like the RoadRunner taunting the coyote, a tap on his shoulder.

    Damir shuddered and turned around, even though turning around was probably a bad idea.

    There stood "Trouble". In both arms, ladelled with sleeping Vipers, untripped Land mines and Bear Traps.

    "I found these outside... Did you lose these? Where shall I put them?"

    Damir's head rebooted and blinked twice. His eyeballs popped out and did a "Roger Rabbit". His brain shorted for a second.

    "How" was all he could mutter. "How"

    "Trouble" looked up at Damir.

    "The writer is a close personal friend of mine..."


    UnInspiring Quotes

    Yes we all love to hear thoughts to carry us forward.

    But be wary if you EVER hear THESE!

    "You have great potential... As a urinal cleaner"

    "You are the wind beneath my wings....PURE Methane."

    "Someday I hope to be like you....But I just can't aspire to be incompetent and lazy."

    "Live and strive for your dreams... Be the biggest idiot you can be."

    "Absolutely nothing can hold you back.... Especially since you don't have any forward drive."

    "Ahhh if only the rest of the staff were like you.... We'd be bankrupt."

    "I've never seen anybody dive into anything with such passion... I don't know how that Jelly Donut survived."

    "Wow. I may have you marry my first born.... I'll bet you make a killing with false insurance claims."

    "Set your targets high, aim for your dreams, think smart....actually in your case give up right now."

    "Free your thoughts, think outside the box... You'll have to. We didn't cut any holes inside your box to breathe in."

    "Get a piece of the rock, seize that mountain...a smack yourself with it several times in the head."

    "Close your eyes to adversity and naysaying.... It will help when you shovel out the horse stalls."

    "Someday you will be famous, your name will be in lights....on a wanted poster."

    October 19

    Save the Children – Everyone can help – even on a simple and small level

      

    Techdays 2008 – What woud YOU pay?!

    n25130657763_790895_8010

    Well?  The power is in your hands!

    www.techdays.ca – Before October 29th 2008!  Special pricing has been extended!  HURRY!

    October 17

    Preparator Riders for the Friday Funny Guy

    In the past year, I’ve gotten to work with the people with Microsoft Canada on a small level.  It’s been a joy.  Whether it be “Thundergized” from Energize IT 2008 or a current surprise I am working on.

    But like all “Great Entertainers” (RIGHT!) I have my agent present a Rider before my arrival.  I thought the rest of you might be interested in my meek and simple list of demands before I make my grand appearance.

    -----------------------------------------------------

    Attn: Filming crew, Production Staff, Security, And two legged people wandering the offices of Microsoft Canada

    Rider for the "Friday Funny Guy"  for "I am a Developer / IT Pro"

    The Friday Funny Guy requires the following items to be prepared upon his arrival for the Video shoot on Tuesday.

    His face to be laid out upon the entrance floor ala the cartoon icon in a 6x6 foot format done with Smarties.   Red ones MUST be removed and peeled and blended into a fine paste.

    A group of 15 minstrels singing "Highway to Powershell" in the key of C#

    All staff must bow down and say "Oh Mighty Funny Guy, please don't smite us!"

    Fourty seven Tim Horton's coffee's, with the rim's pre-rolled, 2 Krullers, A Canadian Maple and a Raisin.  

    A team of three jugglers juggling large fully stuffed with Schwag Technet bags.  Just cuz.

    A Giant nine foot long paper airplane constructed from the Teched Placards.

    A Phone call from Bill Gates

    One Pentium Pro chip with the Gold intact.

    One Rubik's cube, disassembled with all the colours laid out pointing South West

    One Thousand, Three Hundred Twenty Six McNopoloy game pieces, un opened.

    A Fluffy cushion with the centre hollowed out and replaced with a gold brick

    A Fifty Three point Seven Meter long extension cord of LAN and Power to surf the internet in the middle of Meadowvale road.

    Three Chocolate bars, Snickers, with the wrap peeled EXACTLY 7.3 millimeters from the top, folded into the shape of the Microsoft logo  In Blue.  Chocolate must be peeled off and peanuts individually removed and laid out.

    White Rose Petals covering the entire entranceway to protect his delicate tootsies.

    A 1987 Mercedes 300SD, Fully gassed and insured with the Radio station tuned precisely to 91.1FM with the volume set to 3.14.

    A big bag of sunflower seeds for the gerbil crew.

    and a mint

    One Gold laptop with titanium alloy plating and diamond studs with 8 quadcore cpus and 1 terabyte of ram with a single raid 50 exabyte storage array.

    5 matching Mercedes G Class Suvs (one for each day of the week) with my name laser etched into the entire layout.

    A group of well trained orungutans to run Lan cables. Preferably with the fur dyed in Yellow racing stripes.

    1 copy of "Yellowbeard" on BluRay. Signed by Graham Chapman post mortem.

    A Congratulatory letter from Bill Gates and a phone call from Steve Ballmer while he's wearing a dress.

    Season Tickets to the Miami Dolphins including plane tickets, hotel stay and complimentary mint on the pillow, hand delivered by Pamela Anderson Lee in a "Barb Wire" outfit.

    One gross of Lego with the red ones removed.

    The complete "Encyclopedia Galactica" circa 2016.

    A Fifty Pound Bowl of "Cheetos" with a smiley face formed in the middle.

    A 105" Widescreen projection television for them to practice RockBand on along with appropriate 7.1 Digital Surround.

    A selection of freshly prepared Double Whoppers, Big Macs and Baconators with the crusts cut off.

    A plate of individually wrapped French Fries.  COOKED but not burnt on a Plate featuring William Shatner's face.

    A 1987 Mercedes 300SD to drive back and forth to the bathroom with (Fully Gassed up with Diesel)

    An assorted of Wenches (and Scwewdwivers)

    A personal phone call from Mr. Bill Gates and Mr. Steve Ballmer.

    A large 20 pound mallet, a large blowtorch and an iPhone

    One gallon of Guildens Golden Brown Mustard.

    A plate full of "Weenie Tots" at exactly 150 degress Fahrenheit.

    An autograph from Jim Butterfield in Ketchup.

    Chilled Deviled Eggs with a smiley on each one using pimentos and olives.

    A framed picture of Leanord Nimoy in a bathing suit.

    A partially burnt phonebook on the right hand side with page 94 removed and folded in a paper airplane (Bi Plane)

    One Giant (approximately 8 foot long) Rubber Banana (in blue)

    A Pirate Hat with Parrot.  And a Pirate ship as well.

    A chariot driven by a dozen puppies.

    A team of cat jugglers.

    Front row tickets to the Blue Jays vs. The Yankees in Toronto.

    One sealed copy of Digital CP/M 2.2 on 8 inch floppies.

    the Stanley Cup

    A shotgun and case full of OS/X CD's.

    A stuffed penguin stuffed with fireworks.

    One Rollaway Mastercraft Tool cabinet filled with Blue Gummy Bears and Pink Gummy Worms

    A large Glass Fishtank full of Blue Pepsi ICED.

    A Bell Express Vu satellite dish full of Planters peanuts shelled and lightly salted with SEA salt.

    A Golf Bag full of PURPLE Froot Loops (Not the Price Choppers kind)

    A mini putt golf course.

    First class ticket to Redmond with all paperwork.

    "Bling"

    A 1966 Fender Stratocaster with Peavey Amplifier

    There are additional requests coming to me from the bandmembers.  Please forward this to the appropriate authorities sir.

    Our needs are not excessive

    Gerry the Stressed out Gerbil
    Friday Funny Guy Agent

    October 16

    Getting your Pet to Eat

    Life is full of aburdities. Strange little quirks. Oddities that make your head stop, spin about and say "What?!"

    Let's be honest. There are some products that if certain things like oh, I don't know, common sense were removed. The market place would be a lot more interesting.

    Take animals for example. Your pet cat. Your cat does NOT want the bag of "dried up partially edible crunchy material that simulates food." They never asked for that.

    Be honest would YOU eat that? No *beeep* way.

    No your cat is eyeing Ernie the Budgie and Freddy the Gerbil. Licking their lips at the thought of some lightly breaded battered Rat or Kentucky Fried Chickadee.

    So why can't Purina and the rest of the silly Pet Food companies release some more interesting flavours?

    Now I am not suggesting on ANY level we should actuall bow down to Kitty Cat's stupid twisted pleasures. But they could have some fun with the idea.

    Change the "crunchies" to be shaped like Bird faces and repackage it as new "Bird Flavour" Purina Cat Chow. Why they could even package it to look like a bird cage and be hung from the ceiling.

    Wag your finger at kitty to "Not eat the birdies" and it's guaranteed that no matter WHAT is inside (dry cat food, garbage, Siberian Tiger) Kitty will be bound to eat it. Or try to.

    Why you could do the same thing for dogs! New Doberman Pincer chow, full of extra Fluffy Kittens! Bunny Rabbit food full of stuff that looks like Rabbit Pellets (since that's all they SEEM to eat anyhow).

    Let's take this up a notch. How about we give up trying to get the stupid dog to stop drinking from the Toilet and raiding the garbage can.

    A new and improved waterbowl that is shaped Exactly like an old dirty toilet! A food bowl shaped exactly like a garbage can! Leave their food on a "plate" in the "can". Guaranteed that dumb mutt will eat it too.

    Tired of the hamsters breaking loose? I want a cage made out of bricks and t-shirts. They can't go through brick and all they ever do when they get out is eat my favorite shirt or my wife's dress. Just cut to the chase!

    Why don't companies make fun products like this? I'm not suggesting they should start packing "baby kitties" into a sardine can. That's just sick.

    But I'll hazard a guess more guys would be willing to go shopping for Pet Food if the names suggested a more interesting content. It doesn't have to contain any of this. But we're going to get lied to anyhow about the contents. Makes the lies REALLY fun!

    "Bucket O Bird for House Cats"

    "Six Pack of Mean Disgruntled Fully Clawed Alley Cat for Pit Bulls"

    "Bag of T-shirt Gerbil chew"

    "My Favourite Dress Rabbit Snack"

    "Things your dumb monkey is not allowed to eat, random assortment, now shaped like Dung"

    Or even

    "Rabid Gorilla in a Bag"

    You see I'm not suggesting to do anything illegal or immoral.

    I'm suggesting we make the dumb animals THINK we bought them exactly what we shouldn't buy them

    It's worth a shot.

    Might keep my garbage can clear tonight.

    By the way, this is all Chris' fault :)
    October 05

    Techdays_CA 2008 - Register NOW! www.techdays.ca

    techdays_canada

    Hurry now!  Space is limited!

    THE Premier technology conference here in Canada.   Registration is now online!

    Hurry and register before October 15th 2008 for the BEST price!

    Techdays_CA 2008!  It's for YOU!

    October 01

    YEEHA! Hyper-V Server 2008 is OUT!

    Hyper-V Server 2008 is out now!  Free to download!

    Just what is it?

    Fully functional Hyper-V server CD to download for yourself.  It does not come with any of the free licenses the Full Server 2008 WITH Hyper-V has, but it allows you to have the power of Hyper-V without buying Server 2008.

    Management of the machines is done with Remote Server Administration Tools (A free download from Microsoft on Vista) or the Native management tools already in Server 2008.

    I love it though.

    The Cost.

    FREE! NIL!  NADA!

    So you can now try and IMPLEMENT Hyper-V.  The only cost is the hardware.   That won't break the bank either!

    Interested?  Here's the link!

    http://www.microsoft.com/servers/hyper-v-server/how-to-get.mspx

    The download is about 900+ meg so, make sure you have a high speed internet connection and a DVD writer to burn the disc

    But how can you LOSE?

    Why here's a GREAT way to try and see if you're potential Hyper-V server is CAPABLE of running Hyper-V! Without buying Server 2008!

    Download it today!  Download it now!

    Hyper-V Server Rocks!